Pier Pressure

Today I am reflective and tired and HOT and waiting for the storms to arrive. I tend to forget that my energy dissipates as the thermometer rises, but that being said, my resolve to keep the central a/c off for economic reasons has been successful and this small personal victory over the weather gives me little bubbles of joy. Why bubbles? Because as soon as the joy pops out something comes along to burst it.

The Pier. Isn't it just dillapidated and sad looking? I admit to being drawn to this same 59th Street fishing pier in Ocean City, NJ everytime we visit, which is fairly often since it is less than a tank of gas away. When our family first started vacationing in this seaside town we actually climbed rocks giving us a better view of the little fisherman's house at the end. Although an off limits sign did exist, one could carefully climb up onto the pier and venture out to the end. That dates me,to be sure, since the little house has been down as long as my husband has been gone(everything in my life is BHL and AHL- you got it).Oh , 7 years this summer -remember my Year of Jubilee?

This year it was particularly bedraggled looking and I took several pictures from different angles as we photographer types are inclined to do. Maybe this side, maybe that side, maybe with the birds, maybe without the sun, maybe with a surfer in the background, all attempts at the perfect shot. You notice I didn't say maybe with me on it? Yikes, scary thought.



However, I did have a chance to think of myself in light of the Pier and aging and falling apart. I guess metaphors and I are friends these days. I looked at the Pier, and thought immediately that it was sad how it had aged so much more from this year since the winter when I saw it last. Apparently the Nor'easter that blew through the East coast gave it quite a battering. But it stood it's ground!! Hip- Hip- Hooray for my Pier!! More storms will arrive and yet I am fairly sure it will take more than just a storm of life to knock this guy completely over. It may just collapse someday when the sea is calm and there are no clouds in the sky, or it may be swept out to sea in a Hurricane. Perhaps the town will decide it isn't worth saving or the danger of collapse is greater than the picturesque worth, making it a tourist detraction instead of attraction. But nonetheless, my Pier is developing character and strength and even beauty. At first glance , along with the remembrances we have of the original, new Pier, that beautiful comment appears a bit odd. But truly, the more I photographed the Pier, the more beautiful I found it to be, weathered and all.

When I spent time on the Boardwalk of Ocean City later in the week, I had a chance to take a snapshot of the newer, upgraded fishing Pier. I took one token photograph, B-O-R-I-N-G comes to mind.


Well, when I am feeling insecure on the Beach (or perhaps anywhere else these days...) and I feel old and weathered and falling apart, I think I will remember my Pier friend and not cave in to the pressures around me and glamorize the brand new, untested by time and trials, women. I think perhaps, unlike in my youth when I refused to let people take my picture, I might tell them to try a different angle and capture the more interesting side of me.




Finally, one of the favorite parts of my Pier pictures I only observed after I had returned home and was critiquing each one for merit. There is a CROSS pointed heavenward on the favorite ones!! That is how I want to be remembered - pointing heavenward because of Jesus on the Cross.

Beach Thoughts, the first of a few....

Seagulls seem to be of the variety of creatures that proclaim : Every bird for himself!! There's very little cooperation seen as they sit at varying distance from my beach chair. In fact, I'm pretty sure there is some unspoken barrier around each bird. For instance, a smallish black-headed bird with a gloriously scarlet beak just landed some 12' away from me. All the while there has been sitting about 50' away a much larger white-headed,yellow beaked gull who at first glance is obviously meaner and stronger. He just stares. At a parallel point there sits another, slightly behind my chair is another and so on and so on....They don't talk(or is it not called talk in bird language?)or squawk or communicate much at all. They just sit and stare. OOPS!The one black-headed gull just changed from far away to closest with a graceful swoop. She must be a girl gull.




So another gull was flying parallel to the shore all alone, gazing across the waves and into the water and he barely glanced our way. What was that about? Weren't we interesting enough?



This morning as I walked along thinking my solitary thoughts, I spied a one-legged, scruffy, broken-winged, black-headed gull. He just sat , occasionally hopping forlornly and then gave up, looking very uncomfortable on his one leg. He was alone as well. I passed him and said to him(obviously a boy) out loud (good thing it was 6 am on the beach)"Well get up and fly like birds are supposed to , life would be alot more fun and a whole lot easier for you!"
REVELATION.

Stunned into momentary silence I made myself repeat the sentence to Mr. Seagull. (again, truly thankful people walking were very far away...)"Do what you are meant to do, and with or without a broken wing and missing foot life is alot easier..."


God does speak through the lives of His creatures, but shouldn't we be listening?
My broken wing and missing foot may or may not heal properly, but I can still SOAR and I intend to do just that starting in 2008, in my own, very personal, Year of Jubilee.

1971 was SO long ago!

When I woke up this morning I immediately knew the day was significant. You know how some days your head is all foggy and you cannot even recall what day it is, let alone that the day is significant? Well, this was different-I woke up so alert and aware of the day. I heard birds singing as I usually do, those morning kind that just do not stop chirping with happiness.

Totally annoying when you think about it- who is that cheery so early in the morning? I just want my first cup of coffee with that yummy International Creamer to take away the taste of coffee and make me think I am having dessert. Oh, suddenly it came to my head, clear as a bell.(where did that ding dong cliche' come from anyway??)That is when I realized why the day was significant, because that is when I remembered living with someone for 30 years who always woke up cheerful, ready to take on the world in a good mood. He also usually went straight to the kitchen and not only made coffee for us both, but soon thereafter brought me that first irreplaceable delicious cup, freshly brewed, steaming and in the perfect mug. Ah yes, those were the days!

Then I remembered, almost as quickly, a Bible verse I had read regarding memorializing previous happenings...it was in Ecclesiastes, I believe. There it is in chapter 7, right after those curious words telling me that the house of mourning is better than the house of feasting...
The end of a thing is better than the beginning;
The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.
Do not say Why were the former days better than these? For you do not inquire wisely concerning this...




Today, 37 years fast forwarded from May 29, 1971, I am able to enjoy my freshly made cup of coffee, made with just the right amount of International Creamer. I even buy the fat free variety, just in case it helps me feel healthier - because it certainly isn't going to extend my life any longer than God has numbered my days! The birds singing aren't really reminding me of my truly well loved husband who is truly far away, but they are reminding me of God faithfully providing for me as a single woman flying solo in a really beautiful world He created for my enjoyment. Every single spring the same birds come back to the same trees and bushes and rafters, and make more babies and sing more songs, no matter what the condition of the world is. No matter there is an earthquake or war or famine or political scandal, God has kept the birds singing and the babies coming. He has also allowed me a few more years to enjoy my morning cup of coffee and look forward to what is in my path ahead.

It was sunny back then in 1971, and there was a beautiful blue sky. But to be truthful, I was really uncomfortable in that white scratchy dress, and I hated being in front of so many people, and the humidity was incredible and really nasty, and what about those little kids running around at the reception, and since we had no car we had to take a BUS to NYC for our 2 day honeymoon....-now that was annoying....

Looking backward often makes me stumble anyway, I need all of my vision focused on what is ahead.