The traditionally American Turkey is slowly basting in the oven, the sweet potatoes are peeled, the potatoes cut and awaiting their turn to be turned on. The pies have been done for hours and they are quite the variety with each one more flavorful than the next. Pecan, pumpkin,sweet potato,apple,custard and mincemeat, a favorite of my Grandma Miller, what have I forgotten? Oh, and just in case someone never tasted mincemeat, it is truly made from meat-the suet of beef. Yes, yummy to be sure! Green bean casserole is such a necessity that even if one prefers another vegetable, say pearled onions in cream sauce or Brussels sprouts, the crowds would clamor for their green beans bathed in cream of mushroom soup, topped with french fried onion rings! Tradition. No arguments when that word is used, we all bow at the feet of tradition, depending on one's religion, family culture, or invitation only dining experience.
Where was I? Oh, the delicious dinner menu. That menu, or a similar one, is what a good portion of our friends and family are looking forward to consuming in a few short hours from now. It was written from my memory instead of my personal experience this year, and there are no smells and aromas wafting throughout the house, except for that hydrangea candle scent I am trying to use up before the Christmas fragrances of pine and cinnamon take over.
May I explain?
This year we have the privilege and joy of having family living in Philadelphia for all of the holidays approaching. They are my Brasilian nephew Sam and his wife Silvana and their two daughters Clarisse and 'Bibi'. They have recently arrived to work and are excited to experience all of the traditions of their new country first hand. We had planned a trip to North Carolina in my van , where we would see the South and Paul and his family, and celebrate a different kind of Thanksgiving! Please note the past tense and the fact that I am blogging instead of driving.
My van had a different agenda than my mind. Sometimes we work together in life, sometimes we do not. The little check engine light, accompanied by the vibrating engine parts, clued me in quickly to the van's attitude about any sort of long distance trip. I am even becoming aware that perhaps this van and I will be parting ways in the near future, that being determined after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Perhaps the van has not heard that all old cars Ribeiro go to giant scrap heaps of metal in Philadelphia and for a mere $100 cash?
So, the trip to North Carolina, Sam and family with Tia Sue going to see her grand babies- rearranged. As I type, Sam is driving the car of his newly acquired cousin Joel, and taking his first American Road Trip! Fun! Exciting! and I am home alone. The 'just in case' turkey breast is in the freezer, and the two single sons are fast asleep after hours of hard work at stressful jobs in the basement. [Don't worry, that's where they sleep]
I 'Face book status update' my situation,(OK culturally a cool way to talk to many friends in many places) I receive several invitations and I am amazed once again at the connection between expressing a problem and receiving a solution. My heart is too busy being thankful for these friends to be sad at the fact that I am home with no dinner plans!!
That's when it happened, this change-over from depressed and down to uplifted and excited! You see, I talk to God alot, and He and I are pretty much best friends, but He is also my God and Help in times of such needful situations. So I asked Him how a woman with 7 children can be alone with no family on Thanksgiving Day? This, I admit, done in a sad, negative and not really gleeful voice. Not a Thankful Heart mode, nope, not at all. Truthfully, it was a bit whiny and unthankful.
He waited.
I whined.
Two friends from my new church actually called me for the first time and reiterated what they had said on Facebook- "come on over and we can even come get you!" said they. Another friend called, offering to bring me the spare car that was in their driveway. My sister, single and states away called to check in on me to be sure I was OK. The one with NO children sleeping in her basement. Granted she has no basement, but you get the picture, don't you? I certainly was getting it and was fairly ashamed of the whiny voice thing.
I decided I might as well take down the Thanksgiving decorations and prepare for Christmas, that holiday about Jesus and His coming to earth to redeem by death and resurrection, those sinners. This sinner blogging about Thanksgiving actually. That fact alone, causes me untold thankfulness.
Out of the freezer came the turkey breast- who likes those legs and thighs anyhow? Into the pot of cold water with a cup of salt as instructed by daughter in New Mexico Rachel, who was waking up and calling to say Happy Thanksgiving to her mother before her 13 people plus Gramsie began eating in a few hours.
As I pondered about no turkey and no babies to hold on Thanksgiving Day, I also pondered about how many Thanksgivings I have been blessed with in the past and will be blessed with in the future.I looked at pictures and laughed at past jokes told. I prayed for my family in various and as sundry emotional and physical places throughout the United States and Brasil. I realized that all of those many children I had been given to love really do love me. In spite of our different outlooks, political parties, cars that work and don't, ages , and even experiences with God,
I am a loved mother and have many friends. I have a sister who knows from birth that I am nuts, and still talks to me often. I have a mother who usually is found in places I would rather be, and still can out cook any chef on Top Chef.
I have unapologetically 11, eleven grandchildren and for this year another two nieces to add into the mix! My home is heated and my dog and cat are fed. Sure, it's the 'store brand as cheap as I can find' brand, but they are fed!
My life is so full that in order to rest I must turn off the phone on such days as this and ignore the computer. I have talked to seven of my seven children today! Yes, I am most assuredly blessed. Of my in-law children, only one has not been spoken to and I heard his voice in the background, so I am counting that too- and there are 5 of them!
Thanksgiving is not about the dinner or the turkey or the invitations or the decorations. It is not about where I go or who I do NOT get to see. Thanksgiving became real for me when I decided in my head to make the best of a disappointment and turn of events. It is about who I can see in my family. If all of them were somewhere else, then it would have to be about someone else, but it can never be about ME.
More importantly, however, as God waits patiently and lovingly for me to realize what He knew all along, I am able to truly say to Him, my heart is full of Thanksgiving. I needed to thank God for what I had and could be to someone else.
I am thawing that turkey, I called my single kids with no dinner plans, I turned on my music, and I am hunting down the Christmas lights.
Let the holiday season begin!
Oh the difference in attitude. The attitude of gratitude.
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