I hate Mother's Day

There, I've said it and I am not going to apologize. I hate Mother's Day!

Every year when 'it' arrives I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  The Month of May. It has happened for so many years that it colors the beginning of May completely into somber tones of gray instead of the shades of bright yellow I want to see. Dread and a slow draining of my energy levels is surreptitiously swallowing up sunshine and happy.

First, my disclaimer:
I love my mother.
I love being a mother.

 The issue is not motherhood, it is Mother's Day USA.

 I am not the original owner of this particular area of thought. I have heard it among my peers and even my future son-in-law! It continues to hold power over our entire emotional beings for the first weekend of May every single year. it goes something like this~

What card shall I buy? One that is funny or serious or sentimental?? Will she like it, will it arrive on time, will my sisters get her a nicer one? Hey, maybe my younger brother will produce a gift this year, then what does it make ME look like and I'm the oldest? Should I go to the Dollar Store or get the most expensive Hallmark variety? Does she turn the card over and look at the price? Why don't I just put $5 in a letter and write her a note?

Shall I send a gift? What am I going to send that she could possibly need, want, use or enjoy? What will a random gift have to do with how I feel or think or what I want to express? For crying out loud, she is getting rid of everything and she  needs even less!!

What do I want to express? She knows I love her, or why wouldn't I since she is my mother!  I hate being forced into expressing my warmth and fuzzy feelings just because some random person somewhere decided that Mother's Day would be a great idea to celebrate. Maybe I am in the middle of one of those mother/daughter moments. Who hasn't had them? These moments are really, really annoying to have in the beginning of May because then guilt piles itself as neatly as a folded stack of laundry does on top of the mess my mind is already in.
Oh, it doesn't stop there.

How about this: I AM a mother of 7 ! Am I waiting to be 'celebrated' by some/any/one of these precious seven OR am I emphasizing and celebrating my own mom?

Oh, but wait, 3 of my daughters are MOTHERS!! Will they celebrate ME {naturally my vote will lean toward this option} or, the other mother or their own joyful, exhausted motherhood status?? How will that poor, poor husband make his life less than absolutely a nightmare? Will he insult and hurt his wife and live with those repercussions for a really, really long time if he doesn't put wife/mom on a pedestal for a day?     OR , better yet,
will he hurt his mother who is already in the role of Mother-In-Law    
( already being shown disrespect and aggravation by women using the initials MIL to try and shorten the significance...) and leave her sad for a month of Sundays?
Oh , this is another good place to be, how about HIS  MIL??? Think about that one.

Are you feeling my pain here?
Is anyone agreeing that we should eliminate this stinking holiday completely??

Well, hold on , there's more.

Motherhood is a gift from God. It is not a right, it is not deserved. it is not mandatory for beauty, grace or goodness. It is a gift. Why do we think on one day a year, these gift receivers should be set apart and honored as if they are the only ones who ever receive gifts? If, in fact, the mothers of the world have done their jobs well, and let's assume they at least ...tried.... then , shouldn't they already KNOW they are loved? Shouldn't they already be receiving periodic affirmation and hugs from time to time??

But alas, the non-mothers, those wonderful and successful and sometimes even single women who have not been gifted in such a way, might not they be the ones we should honor?? They might need a hug from a child, a random act of kindness, a gift of love for no reason other than the need to express a big thanks for being you.

One more thing.

I am at the age where many of my women friends have lost their mothers already. Many will be losing their mothers in the days and months and years ahead. Many have lost children ~some their only child. Some of my gal pals have lost grandchildren and sisters who were mothers and have neighbors who are alone.

I know I cannot save the world from pain, but really, seriously, I hate Mother's Day.

I love my mom.

Thank you God for blessing and gifting me with children, who are multiplying and making me more and more blessed, and I do NOT deserve a special day for that.

amen .
I am done.