(When I write comments like that I can hear my brother jumping into the conversation with a witty line, but unfortunately I can't hear what it is, because I'm too tired).
Proof of my exhaustion eluded me for the first few hours- probably that cup of coffee I gulped as I dashed out the door to be on time for my airport run. The exhaustion overload button hit full mode during church, of course, when I need to pay attention and hear what God is saying to me. My focus trick has been the same since high school when I took a course on How To Study. I take notes. I carefully listen and try to find the pastor's outline, important points and Bible verses I should be remembering. It works to keep me from nodding off, but it also makes me feel like a high school-er trying to stay awake.
Let me go back to my reason for wakefulness, on this particularly hot day in July.
It was the airport run.
The airport is 20 minutes north on I95, and a very easy trip. My usual method is to leave 30 minutes for traffic, but on this particular occasion I was not taking any chances, so I left an hour. I was told to be at Julie and Adam's house by 6:30 am, so I really needed to be ready for that 1 mile trip by 6:00 am. Then I needed to leave time for getting dressed, drinking coffee and of course, locking up. That right there could take several minutes. See the problem developing in my brain? The math.
This problem decided to play itself out between when I went to bed @ 11:00 pm and before the crack of dawn , which cracked last night around 5:00 am. Not only could I not get the math right, I also had never seen the tickets, which is only problematic to the non -flyer who is the mother of the bride and a control freak, who has a daughter who is a control freak and who is the bride.
Just relaying all of that has exhausted me again so much I can't even remember what I was trying to write about. Good grief.
I remember it had to do with Julie , being my baby girl, being the last of my 4 daughters to get married, being the daughter who has made me stop being a control freak, needing to hear what God had to say to me more intensely, being the perfectly amazing mom of Ethan, being the one of my 7 children who I was sure would pack her bags and leave at age two, being the most outrageously non-conformist family member, securing that spot with this out of nowhere Bahamas wedding vacation. . . . . . . .
Now I remember.
I love that baby girl even when she is tired, mad at me, not speaking or sick. [That was just last week]. Julie was named Julie Grace mainly because she was given to us from the hand of God exactly 9 months to the day after He chose to take my Daniel Mark back to heaven , after a short nine months here.
God's grace is given when we do not deserve it, when we are treating Him like the control freaks we are, telling Him by demanding in prayer exactly how He should run our lives. As if we know best, or the future, or what is wisest for our lives. We are ornery and grumpy ,sickly and healthy, complaining and disrespectful, and He still loves us.
Julie and Adam have been together almost 10 years now, and at first he was young and less than my ideal match up for her. I remember praying and asking God to give her someone who would be better for our family and for Julie. I insisted that surely she deserved someone older and wiser and not Adam.
God has extended His grace once again to Julie and me and our family.
God ignored my prayer request and did what He does best. He gave us what was best.
He has allowed Julie and Adam to have a son, Ethan , whom we all adore, and to weather some mighty big storms. They are also making this non-conformist decision to get married in the Bahamas on July 28, 2011 and I could not be more excited, more thankful, or more happy to see any two people get married.
I love Julie Grace, and most importantly I love Adam, my new son.
That makes seven sons, I have been blessed with.
I am not tired anymore, I am refreshed.
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