Not the usual circular, nor elevated kind, just silly looking.
I decided to finally ask my family doctor if it should be checked and she referred me to a dermatologist, who, as it turns out and why am I surprised? is the best in the Delaware area for Mohs Procedure.
Naturally I am not mentioning this because it is an interesting fact, but because it is another detailed way God takes care of me before I even know I need Him to. Proof, so to speak, of my personal relationship with Him.
Went into my appointment rather nervously because I do not care for doctors in general. To me they are like insurance salesmen , car dealers, termite destroyers, or anyone else whose job I know little of and am skeptical about.
"Looks suspicious", says the cutter. "I'll just take a sample and send it out and we'll see." I heard C-A-N-C-E-R, so began preparing mentally.
When the younger than my youngest son 'medical assistant' told me she would be numbing my face, all I wondered was how many times she had to poke to make me not feel the excruciating pain of a knife removing tissue that belonged on my temple? I took a deep breath and waited.
Since I was beyond nervous at this point, I had enough sense to say to God, "please remember what my friends are praying for because I am going to die here." That, my friends, is panic prayer, as opposed to calm and deliberate prayer.
The waiting began. It took two weeks to hear what I already suspected-my silly looking mole was definitely not a friend, but a rearrangement of my healthy cells into enemy cells.
Another two weeks, two days off work scheduled for the procedures, and back I went, less nervous and more surrounded by love.
God's love came in various sizes and shapes~ friend Judy came for an overnight. Who but Judy makes a cancer surgery into a reason for a sleep-over? Good grief she even brought chocolates~ daughter Margie came to drive me there and sit with me, bringing dinner and a smile~ several friends were praying~ some gal pals texted me that morning~ mt sisters emailed me ~and some fellow fanatics wrote on my Wall! Facebook fiend that I am, I checked before surgery ;-) . You knew I would .
Then he tells me the best news- no more scraping! This was kindly interpreted for me as a good piece of information-he got all the cancer cells the first time. Relief. "oh, and come back tomorrow for suturing. It will be a bit more uncomfortable and may leave bruising," I was informed.
Tuesday afternoon I was ready. I knew my faithful friends and family were praying for me and for God's best for me, but my problem was more that I already knew that could include pain. As the doctor worked, I had been grounded (boy is that a weird feeling, since he described it as like a lightning rod for a house...and have I mentioned my distaste for lightning? ).
Great News ! Day two suturing took under an hour and I was not electrocuted, and the pain was tolerable, and I was able to bring to mind my praying friends when I started to freak. Who me? Freak?
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| The glasses were a necessity because of the padding ! but aren't I stylish?? |
The Fab Five arrived with Chinese take out. These girlfriends were better than the antibiotics to ward off infection, the pain killers to stop the pain. They warded off fear and foolish thoughts. They fought the poison of self pity with friendship and fun! I love these friends with whom I have only been connected for under 8 years .
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| Carolyn, Darlinda, Pam, Jean and me (with the attractive bandage) |
Tonight I was sitting here and writing this blog when a knock came at my door. There stood my newest son-in-law Adam, and a plate of delicious dinner quite unexpectedly delivered, cooked by my daughter Julie. As delicious as that meal was, the gift of sitting and talking to me with my grandson was equally as wonderful.
Son Andy was sound asleep this morning when I decided it was time for another pain killer. Imagine his surprise as the cell phone rang next to his ear, mom from the home land line saying she needed him- now. The pain killers were a bit potent for this weakling patient, and I thought of the irony of living through the surgery and dying from the pain relief. Guess I won't be taking a narcotic next time.
Where will I end up with this blog? I wonder that too. I guess I am not afraid of the word cancer anymore.
I started out on this journey into adulthood afraid of certain things. The list was way too long and cumbersome, so my very personal friend and Father in heaven has been helping me whittle down that list of fears, as I build up my faith and confidence in Him.
I feared never getting married and having children. Really? Yes, really.
God gave me a beautiful man for 31 years to call husband, then he allowed me to release that man and call HIM my husband.
I feared losing my children. Daniel Mark came to us for 9 short months and was gone.
Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I will return.The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. [Job 1:21]
I feared divorce. I was a Christian and was sure divorce was impossible.
May 29, 1971 - June 13, 2002 are the dates of my marriage.
I feared so many other things, the list too long to share. I continue to battle the war with fear as a woman of God who loves Him, trusts Him and has salvation from Him. But I fear. One of my head truths is this: Fear is NOT faith.
My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness. [ 2 Cor. 12:9]
Have you figured out yet which fear was next on my list?
Well, there's the skinny on my cancer.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3;22-23
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