Christmas Came, Christmas Went

How can a true Blogger pass up the holiday season of Christmas and not post a few thoughts? Correct- I cannot. I have been thinking about consolidating my thoughts all week and yet there they all are, rumbling around, bouncing back and forth in my brain, unable and unwilling to settle down into a solid mass of intelligent thought.

They remind me a bit of that ball of yarn the cat bats around the house from time to time. It just unrolls faster and faster, gets caught back up into knots and itself all over, tangles around chair legs(or perhaps brain cells for the purpose of my illustration )and then ends up impossibly unable to go back into a ball without significant outside assistance.

So it is with me and my Christmas thoughts. They just kept coming faster and faster, winding themselves around each other and then ending up tangled and unintelligible.I needed outside assistance! Someone other than myself had to enter my brain and help me think straight.

His name would be Jesus. I went for help to the One Who is really much more intelligent and able to pull my thoughts together for some semblance of sensibility. I went to church. I read my Bible. I talked to a man I consider a good and Godly friend. I hugged a woman like myself who is experiencing loss and change and growing kids. I gave and received a Christmas card. I gave and received a Christmas gift, which coincidentally came from a friend who at first I thought was crazy, and now I think is as necessary to me as breathing is to my health. My thoughts became less frantic and more organized, and disheveled thoughts became organized memories to tuck away for warming myself by on cold winter days ahead.

My oldest son and family came from North Carolina, arriving with 3 children and slightly ahead of a record snowstorm about to hit the East Coast.Our plans were set perfectly , beginning with their arrival and then adding families and people for the next 2 days, culminating in a complete family gathering for a traditional Brasilian Feijoada on Sunday afternoon.


It is no easy task to gather 7 children and their families, plus the added bonus this year of my Brasilian nephew, wife and 2 daughters living here for the year, an hour away. There are activities to schedule around, last minute gifts to purchase, food to plan for, work schedules to rearrange, but we had accomplished the mountainous task and were ready to celebrate.

Then came the snow. When I say it began snowing, I am not speaking of a light dusting, a windy whipping of flakes around the skies. I am speaking of the kind of storm weathermen long for, the one that they say "Be ready to be snowed in for a day" and the kind where the airports begin closing prior to the flakes flying!



Rachel and Aric, planning to arrive from New Mexico on Saturday,spent hours trying to convince an airline to find them a way to fly through. Naturally, there were a few thousand other people doing the same antics over the Internet and phone, but we only cared about two people not joining the family Christmas. How could the Snow be coming down this fast and this furiously on the ONLY day our family was set to gather? We had not counted on the snowfall in all of our scheming.

Becca and Steve decided to believe it when the weather predictions said it would worsen throughout the day, so packed their packages, dog, babies and car and began the snow covered trail over the river(Schuylkill)and through the woods to grandmother's house! They came!


What fun the twins had in the snow together, the dads alternating between shoveling and pulling sleds, the moms running back and forth to take pictures, and Grammy heating up hot cocoa and getting warm places ready to hang mittens on!!



Sunday found us snowed in with piles of at least 10" of the white fluff, but a blue sky and determined hearts brought the rest of the family into the festivities. One by one they came, ending up with a house full of 12 adults , 13 children , 2 dogs a cat and a grandmother who was loving her family united again.

The New Mexico family remained stuck in an airport, but the feijoada was delicious, the beer, wine and soda stayed cold in snowbanks,and I got my annual grand baby couch picture.


Ahhhh, life is good.
Christmas was not at all how I planned it.
It was better.

'Tis the season!

Christmas season is a time when I bring out alot of traditional decorations, ornaments and boxes filled with treasures from years gone by. Things have accumulated over the years, causing quite a large amount of work. Seriously, bringing out the old stuff and sorting through it is NOT my favorite part of the holiday! Eliot, Simon and Jesse all came to help me [aka Grammy ], sort things this year, and the joy and wonderment of their discoveries from last year certainly added an element of fun to the task.


Nora and Bianca were here as well, and I found Nora busily rummaging through a pile of stockings and bright red Santa hats, until she discovered a stocking with the word Nora scrawled across the top. Such relief, "Here's mine Grammy!!" she exclaimed in her big girl 5 year old voice. Bianca, even at three, had no idea what all the fuss was about, and she just kept dashing back and forth between the kitchen box pile and living room stocking pile.

After the kids left I had the work left still to accomplish: taking down the autumn leaves and Thanksgiving decorations and packing them away, deciding which pictures I could live without staring at for the next month , stashing things in places I would most likely not remember- all were part of the day's activities.


Of course in order to find room for the variety of Christmas treasures, I had to eliminate some older things, like perhaps that Santa with a baseball bat(broken) and one foot? he could go. I pitched out the tiny McDonald's give away stocking that had a cartoon character on it from another century, and an old candy cane stuck on the inside. How about Joshua's broken down toy train? Can't get rid of that yet because he might want to keep it for his kids someday, plus Ethan really loved putting the thing together when he came over on Sunday , so how can I throw that away? Tons of acquired ornaments crammed one box, so I didn't even open it, just set it aside for another day's sorting process, maybe the day I eventually got myself to the tree place and chose this year's beauty.

Speaking of beautiful trees, I don't even have room for a tree in my crowded living room, and besides, who cares? The kids have set into motion their own traditions, from going to the other relatives side to starting traditions we never embraced-the Jesse tree, the town parade, the Christmas plays, early morning wake up calls ....each family with it's own bent on Christmas. I even have one who is a non practicing Jewish/Christian family , sort of. What they do or not is beyond me, but not sure a tree in my house would impact their world right now. The cost, well , that could be a paragraph in itself! Who should spend $45.00 ot the minimum on a temporary 3 week decoration?Insanity! You are talking to a woman who had to work all summer at day camp after school, and still can't seem to find the funds for replacing either the furnace or sputtering van in the driveway! I repeat, insanity!



This past weekend I was decorated, had sorted out the stuff, made my home as close to the memories of warm and fuzzy as I could get, and a new tradition was being changed.



Becca and I have gone to a cabin in the woods on the first weekend in December and written Christmas cards, for as many years as Steve has gone hunting with his friends. Many.


This year, neither she nor I could gather the necessary money for such a luxury(albeit a delightful one!) so we decided to create cards at my home and play the music and light the candles and drink the cocoa in a different setting. The only thing I refused to allow Becca was to experience with the twins the campfire scene at night. I can be quite over-protective :-). As if by a scheduled super calendar, the snow began falling mid- afternoon. Some things are just gifts.

My life is very much a parallel to the Christmas season. Some good years, some not that great. Too much clutter, a bit emaotionally charged at times....some memories needing to be dropped, some traditions ok to hang onto. I love Christmas.

The tree? Happening today or tomorrow, cash or not, you can be certain of that.
The traditions? Changing as I go forward year to year, some better, some not as good, but remaining flexible to the possibilities I may not be aware exist.
The memories? Trying to trash the ones that bring me sadness, and embellish the ones that bring me JOY.
The boxes upon boxes of stuff? Not as easy to pare down to simply what is necessary, since I am emotionally wound tighter than a string of lights thrown into the box last season.
The reason for this writing and this season of Christmas?

"And again, Isaiah says, The root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations: the Gentiles will Hope in HIM."
"May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,
so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.(Romans 15:11-13)

Thanksgiving Day, 2009

The traditionally American Turkey is slowly basting in the oven, the sweet potatoes are peeled, the potatoes cut and awaiting their turn to be turned on. The pies have been done for hours and they are quite the variety with each one more flavorful than the next. Pecan, pumpkin,sweet potato,apple,custard and mincemeat, a favorite of my Grandma Miller, what have I forgotten? Oh, and just in case someone never tasted mincemeat, it is truly made from meat-the suet of beef. Yes, yummy to be sure! Green bean casserole is such a necessity that even if one prefers another vegetable, say pearled onions in cream sauce or Brussels sprouts, the crowds would clamor for their green beans bathed in cream of mushroom soup, topped with french fried onion rings! Tradition. No arguments when that word is used, we all bow at the feet of tradition, depending on one's religion, family culture, or invitation only dining experience.



Where was I? Oh, the delicious dinner menu. That menu, or a similar one, is what a good portion of our friends and family are looking forward to consuming in a few short hours from now. It was written from my memory instead of my personal experience this year, and there are no smells and aromas wafting throughout the house, except for that hydrangea candle scent I am trying to use up before the Christmas fragrances of pine and cinnamon take over.

May I explain?

This year we have the privilege and joy of having family living in Philadelphia for all of the holidays approaching. They are my Brasilian nephew Sam and his wife Silvana and their two daughters Clarisse and 'Bibi'. They have recently arrived to work and are excited to experience all of the traditions of their new country first hand. We had planned a trip to North Carolina in my van , where we would see the South and Paul and his family, and celebrate a different kind of Thanksgiving! Please note the past tense and the fact that I am blogging instead of driving.



My van had a different agenda than my mind. Sometimes we work together in life, sometimes we do not. The little check engine light, accompanied by the vibrating engine parts, clued me in quickly to the van's attitude about any sort of long distance trip. I am even becoming aware that perhaps this van and I will be parting ways in the near future, that being determined after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Perhaps the van has not heard that all old cars Ribeiro go to giant scrap heaps of metal in Philadelphia and for a mere $100 cash?



So, the trip to North Carolina, Sam and family with Tia Sue going to see her grand babies- rearranged. As I type, Sam is driving the car of his newly acquired cousin Joel, and taking his first American Road Trip! Fun! Exciting! and I am home alone. The 'just in case' turkey breast is in the freezer, and the two single sons are fast asleep after hours of hard work at stressful jobs in the basement. [Don't worry, that's where they sleep]

I 'Face book status update' my situation,(OK culturally a cool way to talk to many friends in many places) I receive several invitations and I am amazed once again at the connection between expressing a problem and receiving a solution. My heart is too busy being thankful for these friends to be sad at the fact that I am home with no dinner plans!!

That's when it happened, this change-over from depressed and down to uplifted and excited! You see, I talk to God alot, and He and I are pretty much best friends, but He is also my God and Help in times of such needful situations. So I asked Him how a woman with 7 children can be alone with no family on Thanksgiving Day? This, I admit, done in a sad, negative and not really gleeful voice. Not a Thankful Heart mode, nope, not at all. Truthfully, it was a bit whiny and unthankful.

He waited.
I whined.

Two friends from my new church actually called me for the first time and reiterated what they had said on Facebook- "come on over and we can even come get you!" said they. Another friend called, offering to bring me the spare car that was in their driveway. My sister, single and states away called to check in on me to be sure I was OK. The one with NO children sleeping in her basement. Granted she has no basement, but you get the picture, don't you? I certainly was getting it and was fairly ashamed of the whiny voice thing.

I decided I might as well take down the Thanksgiving decorations and prepare for Christmas, that holiday about Jesus and His coming to earth to redeem by death and resurrection, those sinners. This sinner blogging about Thanksgiving actually. That fact alone, causes me untold thankfulness.




Out of the freezer came the turkey breast- who likes those legs and thighs anyhow? Into the pot of cold water with a cup of salt as instructed by daughter in New Mexico Rachel, who was waking up and calling to say Happy Thanksgiving to her mother before her 13 people plus Gramsie began eating in a few hours.

As I pondered about no turkey and no babies to hold on Thanksgiving Day, I also pondered about how many Thanksgivings I have been blessed with in the past and will be blessed with in the future.I looked at pictures and laughed at past jokes told. I prayed for my family in various and as sundry emotional and physical places throughout the United States and Brasil. I realized that all of those many children I had been given to love really do love me. In spite of our different outlooks, political parties, cars that work and don't, ages , and even experiences with God,
I am a loved mother and have many friends. I have a sister who knows from birth that I am nuts, and still talks to me often. I have a mother who usually is found in places I would rather be, and still can out cook any chef on Top Chef.



I have unapologetically 11, eleven grandchildren and for this year another two nieces to add into the mix! My home is heated and my dog and cat are fed. Sure, it's the 'store brand as cheap as I can find' brand, but they are fed!



My life is so full that in order to rest I must turn off the phone on such days as this and ignore the computer. I have talked to seven of my seven children today! Yes, I am most assuredly blessed. Of my in-law children, only one has not been spoken to and I heard his voice in the background, so I am counting that too- and there are 5 of them!

Thanksgiving is not about the dinner or the turkey or the invitations or the decorations. It is not about where I go or who I do NOT get to see. Thanksgiving became real for me when I decided in my head to make the best of a disappointment and turn of events. It is about who I can see in my family. If all of them were somewhere else, then it would have to be about someone else, but it can never be about ME.

More importantly, however, as God waits patiently and lovingly for me to realize what He knew all along, I am able to truly say to Him, my heart is full of Thanksgiving. I needed to thank God for what I had and could be to someone else.

I am thawing that turkey, I called my single kids with no dinner plans, I turned on my music, and I am hunting down the Christmas lights.

Let the holiday season begin!
Oh the difference in attitude. The attitude of gratitude.