My Firstborn is 35! I am older....

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I am trying to stay calm...Paul David is 35 tomorrow at 3:24 pm. I cannot avoid the fact that he has reached an age at which I thought people were adults, old, grown-up, mature, done being children! But he is my son, my baby, my firstborn...how can this be?

I clearly remember the day we found out he was actually growing within my body. It was so mysterious, one day I am a teller at a bank and the next minute I am expecting a little human being. Nothing was the same and yet everything was the same!
His father and I read all of the right books, tried to stay calm and yet kept wondering why nobody realized we were NOT ready for parenthood! We were young, foolish, uneducated in parenting, only married 2 years and certainly could not handle the possibilities that a having a child might bring. For crying out loud, who even knew how to change a diaper? Keep in mind this is before the Internet that could have shown me a YouTube video on how to do it, before car seats were for anyone but the very wealthy, before childbirth was taken over by qualified hospitals and doctors and snatched from the hands of Midwives(tongue solidly in cheek ). There were already rumors that this bearing of a child and raising him to adulthood would most likely wipe out our savings...if we had one. One child per family, please, two at the most, and this was my first! Oh My Goodness.

I had him! His father watched the World Series, I recall, as I labored and birthed this 8 lb. 2 oz. package, then glibly waved to me as I was wheeled by thinking death had arrived disguised as childbirth. He could not be 'with me' since in 'those days' we had to have attended a birthing class together and since I worked(remember I am a Bank Teller?) and his dad worked the night shift, there were no classes available. So he smugly watching TV(Yes they had TV back then!) while I did the job set before me.

His grandmother, my mom, living a few states away, arrived before we left the hospital[one had to stay 3 days back then] and promptly sobbed at first sighting. I could NOT understand this, since she had just met the child and she had known me 23 years and I didn't see her crying at seeing ME! How curious, I thought, until May 1, 2001. Fast forward to Eliot Raymond's arrival and my need for Kleenex as an accessory.

This firstborn son was indeed the wonder of the world I lived in, bringing me joy and pain, laughter and tears, singing and groaning, frolicking and fretting, but always thankfulness and hope and wonder that God would entrust me to raise one of His little blessed children to adulthood, should I be so blessed. And I was.

Paul is one of the most intelligent men I know, next to his father, and his faithfulness to his family is cause for me to be proud to know him. He is a strong leader, secure in the knowledge that his talents and gifts are being well used and were given him for a reason of importance by His God. He calls himself a follower of Jesus, and follows Him well. The path he has been given has not been easy and yet he stays the course, oftentimes walking on the path without a map. But he always has a compass, the Son is always his true north, and he causes me great joy and peace. Peace because on my own path, when I wanted to give up, I have glanced his way and seen a Man walking along,steady and strong, the very same man whom I didn't know how to diaper...

I am so glad God trusted me with this son. I love him. Happy Birthday PD.
I was and always will be Big B.

All About Andrew

I wonder if this day twenty years ago was snowy or mild? Was it below zero with a scary ride to the hospital, or was it an easy and exciting trip? Today is not only blustery,cold and gray, but finally we awakened to SNOW on the ground, and schools were closed across the region because of the ice predicted to follow later today.

Did Andy's birthmom dread the 'all-too-quickly-happening' hello and good bye of her son? I wonder if she knew before the delivery day if he was a boy or did she just keep it a surprise? Who knew this baby before he became my own? Now that I am a Grammy, I even wonder if his birth Grammy knew him for a moment in time and holds that memory close to her heart? How many times have I tried to imagine their state of mind as together they made the decision to relinquish the raising of a son to another unknown family? Wow. This is a very difficult imaginary/real life scenario!

Simultaneously in another part of Cincinnati, Ohio our family was growing and loving and thriving in a new location. Dad had recently taken a new job, Mom[yes, me] was busily loving every minute of child-rearing and homemaking. We had adopted son Joshua 2 years prior who was added to our birth children to make an even half dozen kids. Since Josh was African-American, we were Hispanic, Latin American,so we decided to continue the blending a bit more and went to our local Children's Home for an interview. I will never forget that they excitedly asked us if we would MIND taking another healthy black son? We had been so blessed with healthy children thus far that we thought perhaps it wasn't fair to even ask for a baby, but rather an older son. What a surprising twist of events.

In a matter of days the magical phone call came. Some siblings were playing and some were attending school, and Dad was at the doctor with an earache, I was doing my Mom things. Two lives were about to intersect, two worlds combining for a moment, two cultures and races united for a single cause. We both desired one baby boy to reach adulthood in a loving environment with as many advantages as humanly possible stacked in his favor.This baby boy, whom we named Andrew, arrived at our home when he was exactly two months old,tiny and dear, cuddly and sweet.

Andrew is twenty years old today, not so tiny anymore, but wonderfully dear. Still cuddly and always sweet, he is by far the best of both worlds that joined forces with love and sacrifice and selflessness to grow him up. Andy is the baby in the family , trying to become the adult son, while continually struggling with sisters and brothers who insist on telling him what is best for him in order to spare him of any more pain than neccessary. He has a smile that will win over even the grumpiest person, and he genuinely loves people. People love him,too. He is a faithful friend, a fantastic son and a terrific brother. There has not been a single day that my heart has not filled with total gratitude to God for allowing me to be part of Andrew's growth plan! What a privilege and delightful way to end the active job of parenting I signed on for 35 years ago!

My hope and prayer today is for Andrew's birthmom to be at peace with her loving decision made those twenty years ago. I hope she will someday know this man child of ours, and understand that in both of our lives there was One who guided the choices to produce the outcome that He alone intended to happen. I, for one, am glad He did, because my life is much richer as a result of loving and knowing Andrew.

Happy Birthday son.I love you.
Mom