Vacation from Work, not from Thinking

If I had Webster's Dictionary next to me, or if I knew how to go from writing a Blog to searching the Internet in one sleek movement, I would look up the meaning of Vacation.

It is most likely going to use the word respite, or relax, or perhaps break from normal.

As a background comment, my summer job this year included working part time hours for the School where I work full time during the year. It was an easy job, not much stress, and gave me time to enjoy more than a cup of coffee in the mornings. I was truly thankful to God for such a job as this!




However, the time frame element of summer camp was not the best, leaving me with one day between the school year and starting the Summer Camp , but it was an interesting first year of operation for this Camp and the experiences were Fun! I needed a Break.

The problems for me began when we ended the summer job on August 14, and our official 3 week vacation began before the beginning of a new school year! Vacation simply means Vacation, which simply means Go Someplace. Take scads of pictures of unique and wonderful places, share with everyone when you return all about your Vacation, and Do NOT do normal activities! No Way.

The children need babysitting for the grand kids? "I am so sorry,I am busy,I am on Vacation."

"I won't be able to come to church and attend our Bible Study group this week, have you heard? I am on Vacation!"

The cat and dog getting food on a semi-daily basis? Well, since I am on Vacation, I had better make sure the sons are checking in regularly to feed the animals. "OK throw a few flakes of food into the fish bowl as well."

My best girlfriends , who usually only have availability on weekends when their other life activities aren't a priority, certainly must be anxious to see me, spend time with me, talk to me...it's my Vacation. I have OFF three weeks, we can arrange something, to be sure.

Maybe I will drive to South Carolina and spend time with my oldest son and his family, especially visiting again my newest number 11 precious grandson.

Of course it is an 11 hour drive to the place where they are staying now, the other parents home. I have an older van to take the trip in , and coincidentally the summer heat wave has decided to plant itself firmly on the entire east coast, which normally is not a problem. I do not have any air conditioning in the van, however, and the heat has never been tolerated well by my upstate New York body. As I wait for the heat wave to break, the days do seem to be passing by fairly rapidly.

Two of my daughters took a trip there last week and rented a 15 passenger van to accomplish their Vacation goals. It was a Sisters Gathering in Myrtle Beach , and lasted a full 8 days of air-conditioned van rides and beaches and fun! I was truly happy for them , all the time looking forward to a similarly enjoyable Vacation of my own.



It has been suggested by those in my life who love me and want to help solve my life struggles, that I rent a vehicle. Now that summer job I mentioned? Well, the money I earned for working this summer is slowly accumulating for a purpose- to purchase another newer vehicle should this steady non air-conditioned one break anytime soon! To use the cash for such a temporary purpose seems unwise. I am all about wisdom.

Tennessee is where my siblings and mom reside, about an 11 hour ride out West toward more heat. I could go visit them for my Vacation, since I haven't seen some of them in awhile. Same wisdom utilized.

I am fairly smart,really, in spite of the inner workings within my active brain.

I am fully aware of the Enemy of my Soul tapping on my shoulder as he is planted firmly in my life. There are some who might dispute the world of spiritual warfare, and I would not be one of them. I have seen very up close and personally how something that God began as a good thing , has been ripped and torn and nearly shredded apart from the claws of the Roaring Lion . My God Glorifying, Loving and Worshipping Family, my own precious Covenant household of Faith has been under attack for almost 8 years, and there is no sign of it ending.

There is a passage in Habakkuk in the Old Testament of the Bible that says:

"Though the fig tree does not bud, and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour. The Sovereign Lord is my strength, He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk ends with these words.

I will paraphrase this passage for my current life condition:

"Though the weeds in my garden overtake my flowers, though my two tomato plants shriveled up and died,and my pepper plants look pathetic. Though the animals who at one time comforted me continue to cause me work and frustration, and the sons who are my youngest struggle with poor choices and unwise activities, I will rejoice in the Lord. Though I stay home on my Vacation and have no breaks from the mundane world of singleness I find myself living in, I will be joyful in God my Husband and Saviour. Though the enemy waits nagging and trying to make me discontent with my daily routine, I will be thankful and thank God for His guiding Hand of Love and kindness, for His granting me good health and Happy times with grandchildren,for His giving me a job to pay my bills and a circle of friends to laugh with. The Sovereign Lord is my strength. The Covenant God of Habakkuk is my Hope. The Lord is my Shepherd, I will lack nothing."







Two weeks left of my Vacation, time from work and people who do not really care about whether I am rested or stressed. I am going to Rest in the Lord. I am going to be content to feed the silly cat, annoying dog and never-die fish. I have 14 days more to read books and more time to relax in the beautifully air conditioned home the Lord has given me! I am absolutely certain that when my van squeals for the very last time,the Lord will have me able to purchase another one with all the dollars I have carefully laid aside. Wisdom has a good and practical side.

The Emptying Nest

Sometimes I use my grandchildren as an excuse.

They are so little and fun and filled with vim and vinegar. (Now that is a saying from way back when! and what is vim?)The hours I am with them are consumed with action, physical action at it's best. We run and walk and jump. We build trains and fill buckets with dirt and mud and water. We splash in the water, or alternatively, we dump it out so we can refill it again! Often we pause to sit and giggle at our favorite TV shows, like Baby Einsteins or Handy Mandy who casually speaks with his tools in both English and Spanish and they in like manner answer him back! We watch Baby Bear, who as it turns out and admitted by mom, teaches us good manners.







Ah yes, playing with grandchildren is an exercise in love and joy and peace.We have fun.

The 8 Northern babies are here often, Ethan every Sunday, the rest sporadically strewn throughout the days as unpredictably as my garden seeds strewn about my flower garden this year. A little here, a little there. Flowering nicely , albeit with little purpose or organization.






The dilemma that I find myself facing , when the grands are with their own families and in their own environment and activities is this: How do I activate my own personal life in such a way so that I am available at the drop of a hat, a phone call of need , a snap of the finger of parental whim, while at the same time I am not EXPECTING to be visited or included in these same parent schedules? I found that difficult to phrase properly, and even more difficult to live out well.

The complexities that enter into this life dynamic are so many and so intertwined that to sort them could easily unravel an entire infrastructure of misunderstandings with a single pull!

Yesterday, for instance, is an example of what is happening in my world. I wanted to babysit for a day and an overnight my twin grandchildren. In my mind it was a worthy request and would serve the purpose of allowing for parental breaks as well as grandmotherly love purposeful and planned, rather than spontaneously attached to a shopping trip or a park adventure. [Oh, and we had one of those this week, which is just another story waiting to be told.]

Why did it end up feeling like a kidnapping with stress attached and serious misunderstandings of motives unraveling around me? I had planned things well, it seemed so noble and simple, and I love these children more than I have ever loved anyone since my own eight popped into my world?? Why indeed? now there is the problem of which I speak.

Here is the answer, and hear it well. Because the priorities of young parents is to grow their families their own way, and I already had my turn.

I began this thought process saying that I use my grandchildren as an excuse. I heard myself say and think that a few sentences back. For someone with no memory, I am pretty good at remembering the annoying things.

I also mentioned activating my own life, separate from the lives of my kids and grand kids, while at the same time being available to them should they need or want me.

I have found myself waiting to be the perfect Grammy while forgetting that I already am the person God wants me to be. I already have been called to fulfill a commission given me by God , while at the same time occasionally serving as Grammy besides!

How often do I connect with another grandmother-type friend only to be told that 'perhaps' we can get together, or go on this or that adventure....but first 'let me check if the kids need me to babysit' or 'maybe I will need to be available to the grand kids.' This just reinforces my thinking that my first priority should be to my grand kids, rather than to myself or for my intended purpose.


I think, after much reflection and even more prayer, that the secret to my own safe personal flight from my very empty nest is this: Love the Lord my God first, being who HE wants me to be. Love myself next- for isn't the greatest commandment to first love the LORD your God and second to love your neighbor AS YOURSELF?? Realizing finally that my best and closest neighbors are my children and grandchildren, I reserve and express my remaining love for them as well!




Grandchildren excuses have now become motivation! I am being motivated to love them best by loving myself more! God loves me best and HE is love, so I will try to follow His example and love well.

I have always loved the verses found in Isaiah 40, especially verse 31: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.




I am beginning to soar.