My Perfect Mother

I love this picture of my mom. It embodies who I think about whenever I think about mom. She is always happy or smiling, always ready to have fun, always cheerful, always ready to encourage me when I am down. Don't get me wrong, she isn't perfect, but certainly she is in the top ten candidates. Besides, she is perfectly my perfect mother.

Mom was born on January 16, 1931 in the town of Ithaca, New York, living her childhood in Brooktondale, to Marjorie and Homer Miller. I know almost zero details regarding this and I must begin a quest to discover them !! How can I not know anything about mom's birth?? I know she had an older sister Mary who was a beloved aunt to me until her death. I know Grandpa and Grandma Miller were family favorites until their deaths in 1973 and 1989.

Facts of birth aside, however, I do know many important things about mom, who is today- January 16, 2011, celebrating 80 years of life.

On Beauty: First of all, Mom is beautiful. I think the picture I began with shows that really well, and maybe kids always think their mom is beautiful, but I believe mom is beautiful from the inside, from the inner depths of her being.

I woke up today, knowing it was her birthday , thanking God for her long life and great mental, physical and spiritual health. I pondered awhile trying to articulate what was so special about her.

When one has  mom as part of her existence for her entire life( now 60+ years) it is sometimes difficult to list the specifics of why she is important or why you are thankful for her-she just IS.

So for a birthday gift I am writing ,making my thoughts come to the forefront of my heart and mind, so that while mom is alive, she will know why I love her and what I think. What good will a beautiful eulogy do her after all?

On children: Mom loves her children well. We don't always act well, but that never seems to affect how she feels about us. I personally recall several times when I was rude, or abrupt or silent or ornery(love that word)
and the next time we spoke it was as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I am the oldest of 5 children and believe me when I say the younger siblings have given us a run for our money!(hahahahaha! I had to say that!) I have never heard mom ever say anything truly mean, and
it has been often warranted. :-)

On marriage: When dad was alive, and they were married for 50 years! mom was always tending to his needs, whether it be making him meals or cleaning the house or going on trips. Mom's expression of love for him was an example of selfless love that I was amazed to watch over the years. She set the standard for a good marriage and when mine fell apart after 30 years, I felt huge disappointment in not making it to the golden 50 like she and dad did..

On Moods: I love that I cannot recall mom ever yelling or losing her temper! How is this possible when I yell and lose my temper as a way of life?!?

Now I do have the excuse of having the Spaniard blood coursing through my veins and everyone knows they are hot blooded people, but really, never yelling? Mom is a peacemaker, not just a peace keeper. She does everything in her power to make our diversified family peaceful. I admire that in a mother.

 On People: Mom adores her grandchildren and now her great grandchildren! She proudly tells people she has 12 great-grandchildren and she remembers almost without exception, their birthdays! She tries to work on relationships with them all individually and they all have a special connection to her, even the ones who married into the family.

 That brings me to another attribute about my mother.

On Food: She can cook. When I say this, it is not a side comment , like an appetizer of cheese and crackers thrown on a plate before a meal. No, it is the full 7 course meal kind of comment! Mom can make anything taste good, she will spend hours cooking just so her family can devour it in a few minutes, and usually she has several options of foods to be eaten in her freezer or refrigerator on any given moment in time.Last summer I called one day and she was freezing and canning , putting up for the winter. Who does this?  The woman is wild! I think she and food have had a secret love affair for the past 80 years, shhhh! don't tell.

On Animals: Over the years pets have come and pets have gone, but mom tolerates, if not loves most of the family creatures. Some she adores more than others, but she sets the fine example of putting up with whomever is currently part of any of our families. I think she currently has a favorite though......you decide:

On Hospitality: I learned hospitality and generosity from watching my mother. Whenever someone is sick, to this day, she will make a big bowl of rice pudding(and hers is the best on the planet) or a meal of some gigantic proportion. She is more than generous, always adding the touch of kindness and love.

On Tributes: I know that the chances of anyone besides a very few people will ever read this blog. But that is not what I wrote it for. Actually, writing a blog for me is never about who will read it. I write in order to sort the thoughts , emotions and feelings inside my head and heart. Today , of course, I want Mom to read this and see how inadequately I am able to portray my deep love for her through words.

On Honesty: People tell me I am honest. I always wonder what that means, because what else is there besides honesty? If you say the truth then who you are is real inside and out. I think I learned that from my mom. Mom is honest, good, kind, honorable, loving, gentle, generous, faithful to family and friends,

and very dear to my heart. She is also clearly dear to many other people.
In closing this birthday blog, I must say something here. It is a question, really.

On Death: How does one ever live without a mother?
I suppose that when that time comes, God will give me the grace I need, or perhaps in His timing I will enter eternity first, but either way...how does one live without their mother?
I am going to ask her today, while I am blessed with the opportunity, because I believe mom will know the answer.

I love you Mom.