Post Christmas Ponderings

It's really dark outside at 5:30 am and even my occasional bird friend seems to be sleeping in. My intention had been to sleep in myself but clearly my aging body is not requiring as much sleep as I'd imagined it needed.

Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, brother Brian's birthday(oops forgot to send a card),all sailed by and all that is left are a few pine needles on my living room floor. Yesterday my dear children all drove off, carrying Isabel and Ava back to their Southern home, so I refocused my sadness into clutter clearing mode.



As an aside, I used to clear brush and make huge piles to burn and as soon as a child went off to college I would burn to smithereens the pile I had created , expending all of my inner angst and energy. Perhaps tree-ridding is safer?


Out went the tree(my sleeping friends will soon appreciate their new hiding place from Apryl the cat and the inevitable snowstorm),back to boxes went the ornaments, copied to computer were the Christmas Cd's I can't bear to pack away...sadness magically turned to utter exhaustion and a good night's sleep for me.


I find I cannot pack away my thoughts as easily nor as quickly as I can pack away the Christmas season. There are boxes for ornaments but where do I put my thoughts?

Reflections on my favorite moments during our traditional family Christmas Eve gathering are tumbling around my head like rocks turning into shiny gems in a jewelry tumbler. I loved watching Andy and Rachel competing lovingly in the kitchen, challenging each other and using culinary skills that are partly learned, partially inherited, mostly acquired through annual usage. Esfirra, croquettes, pao de quejo, why even Becca jumped into the chefs line-up this year producing her very first entry into the mix!



The thundering (and I do mean thundering, not pitter pattering as some would romanticize)feet throughout the house, the squealing and scrambling and jumping and laughter and tears too, all made for moments that I can pull out and think about mid-January when the winds blow cold and the heart forgets the warmth of family. When the cousins are together there is so much ENERGY. Oh I love that energy!! how it makes me return to the former days, the mental images flashing back from when their parents were young, when Santa was Me, and then even further to when I awaited the arrival of my very own beloved grandpa and grandma Garcia, whose arrival signaled that we could open OUR stockings....


With me, the matriarch, our Christmas family gathering included 13 adults , 10 children under the age of 7, another waiting in the womb, a cat, 2 dogs who think they are people, 2 more family dogs visiting the Ami and Poppie in the South and a goldfish that won't give up. I am a blessed woman and not so ignorant as to not thank God daily for this blessing of Family.







We Ribeiros used to be smaller and younger and less verbal and more similar in our thoughts and ideas, especially political and religious. Our family picture included a Patriarch, a church, a well thought out set of rules and boundaries. Life was simply and completely fine, thank you very much. My goodness, how things have changed! Just as I write that thought a Bible verse I have memorized years and years ago flashes into my mind! I cannot stop it any more than I can stop time from marching on.

In the book of Ecclesiastes we are told, "Do not say, why were the old days better than these? For it is not wise to ask such questions...when times are good, be happy, but when times are bad, consider, God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore a man cannot discover anything about his future."

So for today, I am going to sit quietly, watch the sun rise over the house behind mine first, then come up so I can see it.


I will have another cup of delicious morning coffee, reflect on my utterly quiet house, void of noise and naughtiness, refilled with silence and solitude. Scribblings done for the moment , replaced with praise for the One who has allowed me this delightful life, not empty of troubles or trauma, but full of Goodness and Grace , because God became a man and understands me and loves me anyway. I am thankful for Christmas and all of it's memories.

Sensible Decorating

The weather outside is nothing but dreary,cold,and damp.Inside, in an attempt to keep electricity and gas bills low I am sitting here freezing. It is set at 62* on my thermostat but using an old furnace and having drafty windows, my body feels colder than that. I added on a fleece and am warming up some, but soon I need to change from iced tea as my beverage to a cup of coffee.

Yesterday I was all set to blog about my happy day. The reason I wanted to write was so obvious that I had an impulse to share the good news. I reached contentment, a rare, yet coveted place for me, and wanted to share how it happened. You can see how far that impulse carried me.

Yesterday was my annual self-proclaimed and continuing tradition of Christmas set up the Saturday after Thanksgiving.This tradition used to contain the fun of gathering the 7 kids in the car, putting a pot of chili on the stove and heading out to cut down our Christmas Tree at a local farm or woods. That was then , this is now, as they say.

My Christmas boxes were stacked in the kitchen and Joshua kindly helped with that task, so he sort of participated, but basically I was on my own. Quite a difference from 9 people and a pot,[I am speaking here of the chili] yet I was not to be deterred, the music went on and the candles were lit. Having talked to my mom early in the day made me decide a pot of soup was a necessity so on went the soup. It was leftover 'everything but the kitchen sink' soup, my specialty. Mom and I often talk of food, well, admittedly we have never had a conversation that didn't include food, so the challenge was on. Would I prepare an edible, delectable soup or would it be a disaster?

Back to the five senses and my contentment factor. The house smelled of garlic and onion, sage and thyme, the candles adding a blend of pine scents to the mix. The flickering lights around my windows made me feel again that perhaps Christmas would be exciting this year. I had been doubting the possibility because of a sluggish emotional time typical of the holidays and my alone factor. My CD player continued pouring out the sounds of Christmas, carols mixed with ballads, classical pieces mixed with Amy Grant and her vocals. Occasionally I picked up an ornament reminiscent of days gone by, and the feel of the textures against my skin brought back memories - happy moments set in time. Soon it was time to taste my soup, that salty hot broth that at one time had been stuff in the refrigerator, somehow evolved and simmered into a deliciously flavorful Saturday Soup!

Had I happened onto something here? All of my senses involved in my Christmas tradition seemed to be causing an unexpected response from within my weary spirit! I was so content! I was so thankful that Jesus was indeed the reason for the season, no matter what the stores tried to steal away with their crazy tunes and ridiculous gimmicks.

Then I remembered another very small , seemingly insignificant event from many,many years ago. It was around Christmas and perhaps in 1990 or thereabouts. Daughter Becca was beginning her Hope Chest, an old tradition of gathering together a box filled with Hopes for a future life filled with a husband and babies someday. Grandma had one and spoke of it lovingly, so Becca wanted one too. She and I were shopping in Sears and horror of horrors their Winnie the Pooh blanket sleepers were being DISCONTINUED! "How can this be?" she cried! "I need one when I have babies!".
So, as any doting mother would do, I secretly purchased a bright yellow sleeper and gave it to her that Christmas for her Hope Chest. I remember asking God, my Heavenly Father, to please give this sweet baby of mine,her own babies someday, especially since her medical condition probably did not include such an event happening.

Imagine my complete and utter surprise, true astonishment, when last week Becca called and said she was sending me an email picture to see. "Hey Mom!" "Remember that sleeper you bought me for my Hope Chest?" Well no, frankly, I did not. "I'm sending a picture of someone in it".





Indeed, years ago, a plethora of Christmas decorations going up and coming down and stored away, a baby had been planned. Evelyn was unknown to her mother, father or even adoring grandparents, but already known by a Heavenly Father whose life we celebrated, very inadequately and quite purposefully at Christmas time each year. Jesus Christ, son of God, Father of all creation, You are the reason for my contentment and the senses you gave me to decorate with each year are thankfully accompanied by Common Sense to worship YOU.

Oh Give THANKS to the Lord!!

Call upon His Name;
Make known HIS deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing Psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!
Glory in His Holy Name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!
Remember His marvelous works which He has done....

Psalm 105 goes on to list by name many of the marvelous works of God in the world's continuing history.

What a great place to begin early this Thanksgiving Day 2008 in my own personal History with God, Who is leading and dispensing as He desires: lovingly, wisely,
judiciously.

This year I am thanking Him for my health and my job, my home and my family, my life falling into an orderliness that I could not have imagined a few short years ago. I am thanking Him for friends who come and even those who go, for family , which for the moment has stayed the same in number. I thank Him for the many things that did NOT happen, something I am more and more aware of as the days go by and others deal with tragedy and troubles. I am certain to experience more heartaches and uncertainties, for we live in a world full of both, but for this moment in time, I am content to be mid-trial.

Together with the Psalmist, I seek His face. How that plays out has become more and more mysterious as the years go by. I seek His counsel, jumping eagerly into His Words already provided. I hesitate more, head into a problem more slowly, am unsure of all the answers, when at one time I knew them all. How can that be?

My heart rejoices, even as there are things that stop me in my tracks. This last week alone there were 2 days out of 7 spent in the hospital tending to the business of grand mothering, praying for, and waiting as my sugar pea Jesse had one event after another enter his little 5 year old world. Rejoice? Yes! because I KNOW God has it all lovingly handled and I can rest in that , while circumstances around me swirl and churn about, seemingly without reason or end.

More and more I must talk of all HIS wondrous works!! There are so many, so detailed and plentiful I feel badly that some of them are not shared with even random strangers. Like the other day at the grocery store when I went in for a few things having a little money, and came out with no money but ALOT of things!! The sales and bargains fairly leaped into my cart! Thank you Lord!!

One of my sons lost his job last week, and I was delighted to hear, when I asked my daughter how they felt, her calm response. "Well, " said she, "it certainly was a surprise, but God has a plan and we know that, so everything will work out, I'm sure." This from a woman with 5 children under the age of 7 years, a woman who is not living in a Pollyanna world, but rather in one where she has seen, known and felt the loving protective arms of her Heavenly Father God surround her in prior times of trouble. Oh yes!I rejoice in that truth and the knowledge that my children also know that Truth.

The Psalmist also mentions singing to God. Now I will go and enjoy the quiet home , dog and cat asleep, two adult sons safe downstairs, sunshine peeking through the barren tree greeting the morning, and sing to the Lord. I love Him so, and sometimes in the rush of life I even forget to say those words to Him. I love You Lord. Thank you.

Seasons Come and Seasons Go

I love snow and winter and the chill in the air!!

It excites me that there is a predictability to the seasons, one coming neatly behind the next- fall, winter, spring, summer and around it goes on and on and on. Nobody can change the pattern, say if they are not in a good mood, "well, this year, winter is OFF." "We are having two summers and that's that!!" I like that about God. He set the seasons in motion and the Northeast USA shows the four distinct seasons very nicely.

I have heard that there are seasons in a woman's life. [Maybe a man too but how would I know about such things when the woman's world is my domain and occupies most of my free time?] The Springtime is during those youthful days , school, college,careers and families beginning. Life is simple and good.

Summer brings on the middle years when kids are in school and days are full and hectic, health is sound and rarely is a doctor seen. Life is Full.

Fall comes knocking at your door when you least expect it- the kids are finally grown and leaving the house(we hope) and the mind still in command, is noting that the body is not really responding as it used to. "Get out of bed legs and feet!" "Well hold on , we need to be careful , we don't seem to be working that well and oh,by the way, it hurts down here!" Life is Unpredictable.



Wintercozies up real friendly and fun, kind of like that first lovely snowfall we had this week. Wow! It's snowing! Yippee! Get out the shovels and mittens and hats! "Why do people complain about the cold,?" we wonder, in our mindless forgetful way. Has it been a mere 250 days or so and we should forget the ice storms that knock down the power lines? or possibly have we not had memories still chilling our bones at the recall of shoveling when the blizzard winds are whipping around our very cold faces? What is wrong with us?

I think old age kind of creeps up like that first snow , but believe me, I am having enough trouble with Fall, I can barely imagine Winter! The interesting thing is that since life is seasonal and predictable, I will have to imagine it when a few more years race by. I won't have a choice, unless I am called to an eternal destination sooner than the 'average' gal.

Fall is so dreary, pretty leaves changing to dried up brown ones, falling into piles and blowing all over the place. Gardens look ragged and run down no matter how much effort and mulching you did in the summer. My neighbor spends HOURS in her garden, pruning and tending and purchasing and raking , all to discover in the fall that both of our lawns look exactly the same!It must frustrate her since all Summer I sit reading on my front porch, cup of coffee in hand with a casual wave if I see her.I have spent no money and little effort to attain my 'natural' look. As an aside, are you hearing the parallels to age and the reasons stacking up on why I also am not seen at the gym every night like my young friend Leigh who goes and works out for THREE hours a night??



Remember now, I love winter, so for a person like myself, what is ahead is the exciting part, I hope. In the interim I am doing a little pruning in my garden.

The earlier years were spent gathering and collecting things. In the Spring and Summer seasons I gathered friends like prized possessions, not wanting any to slip away through my heartstrings of love. I wrote Christmas cards and letters, I remembered birthdays, I not only knew my friends special dates, but their children's as well, and pretty often their mother's made my lists! I collected books, making me a wannabe bibliophile. I collected piggy banks and Brasilian memorabilia, and saved all of my 7 children's report cards, with notes and paperwork and tests. For crying out loud I even had completed Baby Books for each one! Now really, who do you know that even knows there is such a beast in today's parenting world?

That was then. In my Autumn season I am no longer gathering. I had noticed a few months ago that the need to return phone calls to old buddies, the desire to jot monthly notes and send pictures and cards, had kind of slipped by the wayside.My friend of 30 years was not really even on my call back list. I took note of it and thought perhaps the reason was a result of acquiring my full time job and settling into my routine as a single woman again. That doesn't explain however, the packing up and giving away of books and piggies and all things Brasilian (no, I am NOT referring to my husband , although he is pretty packed up). I no longer care to socialize at gatherings when I used to use them as occasions to Be Friendly! and more often than not I do not even attend the things!

The more time goes by , the more I am realizing and absorbing the fact that Fall has become a time of sorting and eliminating. Eliminating unnecessary things and people who are fine but just not a priority. Eliminating trips to the stores 'to shop', outings to meet friends 'for a bite to eat', notes and cards to 'keep in touch' with people who barely have the time to sign a Christmas Card once a year. Until I processed these ideas it was causing me alot of concern. What kind of person was I that I could just change some of the very essence of who I had been?

The latest and most spiritually terrifying part of my walk through my Fall has been church attendance. The faith and courage to stop going to church , to rest in the Lord's grace and mercy and eliminate the going because I had to and turn it somehow into the going because I want to. Now there is a chilly winter ahead if I don't figure out how to melt together my love of the Church, my love of the Lord and my need for understanding.

Deep Thoughts for a late Fall evening, so I think I will go grab a cup of milk and eat a piece of very fattening , non-healthy cheesecake my son Andrew just brought me. I sure wish I could sit on my front porch and wave to my neighbor because I am pretty sure she is on her way to the gym.

The Perfect Present

Whatever happened to the days when you knew immediately what gift to buy someone for their birthday?

I am, by nature, a gift -giving girl. Some people insist that they don't want gifts or need anything and I am among those, but as far as Giving of gifts, my compulsion is to always find the Perfect Present.Trust me, if you are one of my friends, a neighbor of mine , a co-worker or family member, I have thought of how to present you with a present.

The occasions are many for this gift giving compulsion. You might be celebrating a new job or a new puppy has entered the family. There might have been a special time that just began , as in , grand parenting for the first time. Perhaps it is a new home that you have acquired that falls under my category of discovering the warmest housewarming treasure. A broken leg? No problem, I can scour the stores and bring you a nice pair of socks that goes over the cast. Do you see my nature? Sometimes it drives me crazy, since it isn't a turn off and on sort of quality. It just exists within me, and ignoring it results in much frustration and even sadness.

There are people who make gifts, like the crafty types, or the woodworking types. My son-in-law Steve is like that. He can just hammer a nail or saw a board and voila! a table is created. (OK, it might take him a few minutes but really it appears to be fairly magical in nature...)Daughter Rachel has made some pretty significant jewelry pieces in her day , so I have seen this type of craft person create gifts as well. My sister Janet made me a CD of favorite family songs last Christmas, and even as one of my all time favorite gifts to receive I have No clue how she compiled those melodies, taking them from computer to reality.

I am taking a long time to get to my point, in an effort to delay the inevitable.

Today is November 18, 2008. It is an ordinary day for most people around the globe. I assume there are some occasions needing to be celebrated by others, gifts to be purchased, crafted or hammered. Undoubtedly it is an ordinary day for a majority of folks, lives running along smoothly like well oiled machines.

However, my gift giving nature is being stretched to the maximum on this particular moment in history and my thoughts have buzzed around and circled in my brain like bees over a honey pot. What could possible cause this frenzy and abruptly halt the Queen of Gifts For Every Holiday?




David is 62. David Marcos my former husband, partner for life, father of my 7 children, the most significant male in my life after my dad, the man who chose to run early at age 55 back to his home country of Brazil instead of weathering the storms of mid-life and life in these United States with a family and wife chosen in his youth. That David, he is 62 years old today. The Perfect Present has elusively flitted and floated around my head for days while my logical brain has worked overtime in reminding me he is GONE. My emotional brain has been sad and stuck in a place most divorced people climb into from time to time.
The sentimental brain has listed all of the perfect presents I got him in the past(over 32 of them - double that for Christmas!)and wondered if he remembers any of them,with a fleeting sense of nostalgia, even today as he celebrates this milestone in his homeland?

Well, I did it! I figured out the Perfect Present and am so relieved!!It came in the nick of time since today is the big day!! The part of my brain that I needed to tap into was the my Spirit-filled brain, my God-focused, God-loving , God-trusting brain.
I will pray for David Marcos, a prayer that encompasses all of the possible gifts he could want or need, all that he cannot comprehend are his because of the grace of Jesus Christ. This prayer will come from a place far more costly than a fine department store or a shopping catalogue. The creative factor is given back to God Himself as He promises in the book of Romans.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself prays for us with groans that words cannot express. And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." [Romans chapter 8, verses 26,27]

Lessons from a Root Canal

Realizing that life is filled with lessons if only we have the heart to listen and learn from them, I was not totally surprised when this week's Root Canal, the evil dentist's masterpiece of pain, happened my way.

I have had a tooth ache for the better part of this summer as I was waiting to go to a dentist until my dental insurance plan kicked in. A painful wait, admittedly, but one I was so used to that when it stopped hurting yesterday I was beside myself with relief!

The tooth looked pretty good, had been filled years ago with the silver stuff of old, and had begun chipping away exposing what turned out to be a festering infection underneath the surface of the tooth. When I first went to the dentist two weeks ago she showed me the xrays revealing a nasty, dangerous infection that was even into my jawbone by then. "You've had this pain for awhile haven't you?" she rhetorically questioned. "Well, we need to clear up the infection before we can begin the Root Canal, and then hope it hasn't done too much harm."

Having heard that Root Canals are worse than childbirth and having nearly died after 5 of those, I was not in the least interested in that situation. I suggested an extraction instead(kind of like suggesting a C-section when I was giving birth naturally , I suppose)and her obvious condescension at my lack of understanding of all things dental became clear. "It is always better to keep your own teeth" was her response.

Well, as my story goes, antibiotics taken for 5 days did indeed clear up part of the infection making her able to proceed with her plan. The needle she used for numbing the pain went into my gum, surely a foot even though it was visually a mere 2" in length. It hurt a little, but after another waiting period , she re-entered the room with a 4" needle aimed at my jaw. OH MY GOODNESS! Terror struck until she calmly said it would be painless. "Trust me and Relax" I heard as I closed my eyes. Nothing happened. No pain, no screaming, no disastrous heart failure, nothing. Had she forgotten to use it? Was I dead? None of those options seemed likely as I heard from somewhere beyond my thumping heart, a dental drill.

I am now sporting a healthy tooth, the infection replaced by the skilled dentist's tools and expertise, the promise of a little more discomfort ahead but an end result of a healthy mouth. She explained that there had been deep infection but after xrays revealed she cleared it all out, she was confident of a trouble free tooth.

Seven years ago God allowed an apparently healthy, sound marriage, to undergo a Root Canal. It seems there was a bad infection under the surface and unknown to me, the little pains I was feeling were evidences of a very deep and dangerous infection. When the chipping away started , it proceeded very quickly and for an entire summer I was in pain. Oftentimes it was unbearable and advil didn't help at all. Neither did wise counsel nor sound advice, I needed the Master Dentist, GOD HIMSELF to fix my problems. My husband left our family, our marriage and our country. His choices and his dental work are far away and his own painful story.

I can only tell my story. God used a numbing agent on me in order to prepare me for the really big needle that would deal with the really big infection. Normally it would have been very painful , but because He surrounded me with His anesthesia I kept going. What was His anesthesia, one might wonder? I can only attest to my own discoveries. He used His Word and Truths, He used His people- my friends, He used Time with the gift of tears.He used lots of tears. Then the bigger needle of Divorce was inserted into my life. The work of clearing the infection had begun, and my life was becoming healthier as a result.

I have wanted there to be a reason for this story to have gone the way it did, I hoped for purpose behind the pain, maybe even a happy ending somehow to emerge. I will never have a new young tooth in my mouth , nor will I have a renewed marriage in my world. I do know I am living now without pain, I can chew tentatively on that side of my mouth when before I avoided all hard candies or tougher cuts of meat!

Likewise, I am discovering ideas I can chew on more vigorously,a healthy base in my life because it has been revealed that it is infection free now. Perhaps the best Truth of all is because God said "Relax and trust Me". With my eyes tightly closed, tears flowing, less each year,He is continuing to clear up the infection, and I am somehow healthier for having Him as my Dentist.

One more thing I might note. Annual check-ups are so critical!! I couldn't afford to have my teeth checked by a dentist, it cost too much. The painful discovery of the dentist applied is that it is costing more now to fix what was under the surface brewing.

Marriages might need check-ups too, even for pastors and their families, maybe expecially for pastors and their families. I am praying that God used my nasty and unhealthy infection to caution others, but especially my children, to have regular check-ups, be accountable to someone with more wisdom and authority and expertise, to Trust God and relax.

My Firstborn is 35! I am older....

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I am trying to stay calm...Paul David is 35 tomorrow at 3:24 pm. I cannot avoid the fact that he has reached an age at which I thought people were adults, old, grown-up, mature, done being children! But he is my son, my baby, my firstborn...how can this be?

I clearly remember the day we found out he was actually growing within my body. It was so mysterious, one day I am a teller at a bank and the next minute I am expecting a little human being. Nothing was the same and yet everything was the same!
His father and I read all of the right books, tried to stay calm and yet kept wondering why nobody realized we were NOT ready for parenthood! We were young, foolish, uneducated in parenting, only married 2 years and certainly could not handle the possibilities that a having a child might bring. For crying out loud, who even knew how to change a diaper? Keep in mind this is before the Internet that could have shown me a YouTube video on how to do it, before car seats were for anyone but the very wealthy, before childbirth was taken over by qualified hospitals and doctors and snatched from the hands of Midwives(tongue solidly in cheek ). There were already rumors that this bearing of a child and raising him to adulthood would most likely wipe out our savings...if we had one. One child per family, please, two at the most, and this was my first! Oh My Goodness.

I had him! His father watched the World Series, I recall, as I labored and birthed this 8 lb. 2 oz. package, then glibly waved to me as I was wheeled by thinking death had arrived disguised as childbirth. He could not be 'with me' since in 'those days' we had to have attended a birthing class together and since I worked(remember I am a Bank Teller?) and his dad worked the night shift, there were no classes available. So he smugly watching TV(Yes they had TV back then!) while I did the job set before me.

His grandmother, my mom, living a few states away, arrived before we left the hospital[one had to stay 3 days back then] and promptly sobbed at first sighting. I could NOT understand this, since she had just met the child and she had known me 23 years and I didn't see her crying at seeing ME! How curious, I thought, until May 1, 2001. Fast forward to Eliot Raymond's arrival and my need for Kleenex as an accessory.

This firstborn son was indeed the wonder of the world I lived in, bringing me joy and pain, laughter and tears, singing and groaning, frolicking and fretting, but always thankfulness and hope and wonder that God would entrust me to raise one of His little blessed children to adulthood, should I be so blessed. And I was.

Paul is one of the most intelligent men I know, next to his father, and his faithfulness to his family is cause for me to be proud to know him. He is a strong leader, secure in the knowledge that his talents and gifts are being well used and were given him for a reason of importance by His God. He calls himself a follower of Jesus, and follows Him well. The path he has been given has not been easy and yet he stays the course, oftentimes walking on the path without a map. But he always has a compass, the Son is always his true north, and he causes me great joy and peace. Peace because on my own path, when I wanted to give up, I have glanced his way and seen a Man walking along,steady and strong, the very same man whom I didn't know how to diaper...

I am so glad God trusted me with this son. I love him. Happy Birthday PD.
I was and always will be Big B.

The Perfect Day

It is so easy to get caught up in the urgent daily struggles and stresses, obsessing and complaining and worrying about each one. It is less easy to remember to 'stop and smell the chrysanthemums.'(OK, the original is roses but that is so lame and common and it is Fall after all). I am as guilty as the next and am feeling the need to remedy that situation here and now. Today is sunny, in the low 70*'s and beautiful, especially after worshipping God at church this morning and remembering His grace in my life. But that is not the perfect day of which I speak.

Yesterday was the Perfect day.
I had a good night's sleep and that began the morning well, and when I poured my first freshly brewed cup of Brasilian coffee with International Creamer making it taste more like dessert than coffee, I was as content as my cat sleeping in the sun.

Grandson Ethan arrived for the day with a smile and a jump. He always gives a little jump when he arrives, then makes a beeline for the dog.


Then he and I played a bit and headed to Aunt Margie's house where 2 champion soccer players and games were scheduled at noon. Ethan was beside himself with anticipation so I just moved the time forward and off we went!

Soccer is in my blood and the thought of watching a game with my son-in-law coaching and grandsons playing is always cause for joy. When I arrived at their home there were 3 bikers in the driveway, a granddaughter moving her way next to my car door and another little girl bouncing out the door. The "Hi Grammy"'s were quickly followed by the 'watch me Grammy's' and I eagerly obliged. We had a couple of wipe-outs, a game playing request, a pair of arms yanking at my pant leg and a little boy in the car grinning from ear to ear. Six little wonders within 3 feet of me, do you feel the warmth and love??

Off to the Games!


Watching Eliot(the 7 year old) and Jesse(the 5 year old)play soccer, while babysitting Ethan (the 2 1/2 yr old) and still paying attention to Simon (the 6 yr old) and Nora(the 3 yr old) and Bianca (the cuddly 2 yr old) is a challenge for the best Grammy in town , but this Grammy is also passionate about photography, so my hands were quite full. Literally.









But I managed, happily and have about 50 pictures to prove it.

After the rousingly exciting games Ethan and I packed up and headed North to visit the cousins in Boyertown. We had a nice ride and other than the annoying road construction which has the potential to take away from the nice part, the trip went smoothly.

On the schedule for the Boyertown visit was Aidan's first haircut and at almost 2 years of age, this was a highly anticipated photo op for Grammy and emotional melt-down day for Mom. I had my haircut first and mom explained to Aidan that he needed to sit still and take off his glasses and be a quiet boy , see Grammy? We took a before picture(of course).



As Aidan climbed into his chair he reached up and removed his glasses...oh my, my heart melted.



Mommy let out a scream after the first cut, but other than that momentary distraction,Aidan and Grammy love our new haircuts !!







The day was almost over and still to come was a visit from two of our close friends , Muoy and Ron, who brought dinner! As Muoy and Becca made jasmine rice, pork chops and green beans with apple dumplings, I was outside watching the 2 year olds play. Such a normal activity, and yet I was focused on enjoying the moments individually and refusing to not savor every event. Aidan and Ethan decided to pick the green tomatoes, and after mom told them not to , I noticed a lingering in the garden area, so I investigated. There, on the ground under his boot, Aidan had 'hidden' the tiny tomato so as to make sure mommy didn't see it!






Dinner came after a long day of fun and I was so thankful to be sitting among these gifts of mine.



It is oftentimes easy to complain about my Isabel and Ava living so far away , it is easy to fuss about the hot or cold weather not being just right. It is often my voice heard among the gripers who moan and groan about aches and pains. I am too often found wondering what life would be like if my husband were still here, if the sons still living at home were on their own, if the cat disappeared or the dog ran away!! Why? Why am I unable to JUST BE? Just BE THANKFUL?! Just BE CONTENT?!

I memorized a portion of God's Word in the book of Psalms when I was younger and as I was writing this Blog it kind of jumped out of my normally jumbled mind. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

My Perfect Day. It was like any other Autumn Saturday in many ways, but in the most important way it was different. The difference was in how I appreciated it and how I mentally noted the Goodness of the Lord in every single moment.

I think I will have alot more Perfect Days..it isn't that hard.
Thanks for Lunch Carolyn! You gave me a head start on today!!

Diversity and Tolerance

The last few days have been causing me to challenge some of the current politically correct decisions of the day. I have spouted off at work and realized nobody even dares comment on something if it is a topic of a religious nature. It seems politics is fair game, but religion is still off the chart.

So what else is a Blog for? along with freedom of speech and growth in grace, I am covered adequately and will sound off.

Rosh Hashannah, the immediate reason for my Blogging, is being celebrated by the Jewish Community , one of their 2 more Holy holidays. I am told that Yom Kippur is holier, and that is next Thursday. I have co-workers and know of people who will miss work and school and not even be questioned because of this stated holiday. The last 2 days my co-worker has fled the scene of work and all because of the holidays. Now she also celebrated early this last weekend with friends because they traveled better then, but she still wanted off on the holiday. Also, to add to the wonder of it all, she is not a practicing Jewish person as she has told me it is too expensive to be part of a Synagogue.

Further, this is the second person who has told me they do not participate in the Synagogue because of expense! I was shocked and saddened that God cannot be worshipped by them corporately because of the dollar.

My surprise was made more profound as I saw that not only was all homework cancelled in the school I work in for 2 days because of these holidays, but also the news media announced that Congress would be 'closed until Thursday ' because of the Jewish Holidays!! Now our country is in a financial crisis, according to all of the people in the know, and yet Rosh Hashannah has shut down Congress! I mentioned that perhaps God was OK with Congress fixing the mess of our country this week, and was looked at as if I had threatened the Pope. Oh my, I am just wondering what is going on here.

When I was growing up, many , many years ago, the celebrations of religions other than Christianity was barely mentioned publicly. I am not saying whether this is right or wrong, as that would be yet another Blog. What i am saying is that now it is not only mentioned but flaunted in front of us as if to ignore it was blasphemous.

I am all for diversity and tolerance. I love the dialogue that ensues when someone discovers a truth that they had never experienced , as when I read that on Rosh Hashannah you eat a round Challah Bread to signify the New Year being full of new seasons and ever circling round. I rarely meet people I do NOT like, no matter their race or religions. I think it is healthy and wonderful to teach our families of other religions and ideas. What I find uncomfortable and unfair is that the Jewish Holidays, or any others for that matter, are held HIGHER than the others. Everyone in the USA gets off for Thanksgiving, a traditionally Christian observance of Thankfulness to God . Can't I, a practicing believer in Jesus Christ, otherwise known as a Christian, celebrate and get off work early because of something on my calendar?

My daughter suggested this morning that when we go to our cabin and write Christmas
cards this fall, we call it a Holy Holiday and skip out of work early because it can be called Holy. Let me see if I can convince Congress to shut down then....there isn't much reason for them to be open in November anyway.


I'm just thinking out loud.

I'm Smiling

This morning I woke up and the sun was about to shine , which is a good thing since Saturday was enough rain to last the week! Remnants of Hurricane Hanna left us appreciating the sunshine a bit more than usual.I am not smiling about the hurricane.

However, the reason I am smiling is because I am so well loved by my grandchildren and that is enough to counter any dreary Monday on the calendar! Yesterday was Grandparents Day and I had 8/10ths of my grandchildren celebrating me and gifting me with their love.




Margie called on Saturday night and asked me to come for lunch after church. I agreed since her lunches are always delicious and her kids are wonderful huggers! I take care of grandson Ethan on Sundays so he would be there too. To my happy surprise during the appetizer course between Eliot jumping from the tree, Simon looking for his daddy to play baseball and Jesse wondering if I brought his birthday gift or was this just Grammy stuff? I was given lovely cards, handmade and 'presented'. Presented is different than given because it entails an order of whose goes first, whose is accepted with more enthusiasm and whose is last place(always an indicator of BEST in the heart of the giver).


Then a surprise arrival-the Lacock family drove in, and down the hill came a baby girl carrying a card and a baby boy carrying a plant bigger than he was. What fun!!



Dinner was a tasty pasta dish with salad and white wine and bread, dessert a tasty cheesecake. But the food paled in comparison to the squeals and fights over who was sitting on my lap next or who had to have Grammy change them and nobody else.





In the afternoon hours, as the sun began setting , we were treated to a skateboard show, one of many to come I am sure. Amazing how such a small thing as watching a child and clapping at their performances can cause such joy and be reason for affirmation and feeling loved.



Well, it is now later in the day on Monday and the feeling of being loved by my sweet babies is still with me. There was chaos and frustration at work as usual, kids who were cute and dear, parents who said they appreciate me, friends who make the day sail by and people who I wish could be friends but never will be. But there is and never will be the feeling I had on just one single Sunday afternoon sitting in a grassy backyard filled with laughter and little bodies running around.

When things get really crazy, I bring to the front of my mind a little smiling face , a dirty mouth that puckers up when asked for a kiss, or tiny little arms that squeeze real tight. I think about the hugs I get , the smiles that sneak out underneath grumpy faces, the knowledge that pretty much above all else my dusty house is preferred over anybody else's for a visit.



What I don't understand and never will is why don't more people have more babies? I'm not talking about infertility problems, to those heartaches I lend my tears. I am talking about people who choose to have only one or two, who think having 2 cars that never break down is preferable to babies who keep you up all night, never leave home and cause you total and complete frustration as they age.



Do you think we Grandparents should speak more loudly about this gift? Should we ask our kids to PLEASE take back all of those trinkets and gift cards and knick- knacks and packages wrapped with such tender love and beauty?? Should we tell them we will cancel ALL gifts forever and ever in exchange for just ONE MORE GRANDCHILD??





I have 7 children. I have 4 more married into my family children. I have one who can't make up his mind. I have 10 grandchildren. And I do not have enough. I am thankful, I am happy , I am well loved by all, but I will be happier with more. I know that when these babies grow up, as they grow, I will never have enough of these lazy Sunday afternoons, sitting in the grass, watching everyone play and receiving just ONE more hand made card.




I am still smiling.

Picnics, Peppers and Pretend

Picnics, Peppers and Pretend?
What do these three things have in common, you ask? Such a great question and I will be glad to answer it. These things represent the sum total of my Labor Day USA celebrations spanning Friday night to a few short hours ago. One would think that with the name labor day I might be working in the garden , mowing or dusting or cooking or vacuuming or some such Labor. Not so.

To illustrate my story better I have begun the blog with one of the 36 images I took this morning in my Creative Challenge at Webshots. Webshots is an online photo sharing site and many new friends, also fanatical photographers, hang out there. Every week we are given a creative challenge and are allowed to enter 3 photos into the judging. Usually the challenge is quite fun, for instance B & W photo, pets, scenery, etc. This week our skill was truly being tested when they announced we were to use a bell pepper and only one. I was determined to enter after initially throwing up my camera in frustration! Why I hadn't even planted my annual token pepper plant so this lead me to the grocery store where I had to go buy peppers(2). The good news there, of course, is they are cooking nicely as I blog, in my tonight's sweet and sour pork dinner over rice! Yummy!!

That was my final event and took almost an hour of time if you include downloading and choosing. I also entered this one:



My next attempt at Labor Day Fun was held at daughter Becca's home about an hour from here. It was after church on Sunday and I was excited to be driving on a truly picture-perfect day! Yes, I did take pictures, should you want to dash over to www.sueribs.shutterfly.com and check out the fun. Mainly what makes these things fun are the babies in attendance and all of their hilarious antics. It makes you smile even when you are hungry or hot or just plain ornery.
Here is one of the funnier moments~



What started out as an innocent fill the pool moment quickly escalated into a 'get her wet' moment! and then the fight broke out.. As I dashed to get the camera I could be heard shouting "Stop fighting please after I get my camera because this is really funny"!

Well, soon after this we sat down to eat and I'll tell you a good diet could be watching kids eat! I was so engrossed in that fun and all the while my food sat on my plate for the flies to enjoy with no interruptions from me.










The Pretend part of my Labor Day festivities began Friday afternoon when five little grand kids arrived, sleeping bags and headlamps in tow, ready for a tent experience in Grammy's front yard. Neighbors beware, suburbia watch out- We were camping!! Uncle Josh was railroaded, er I mean volunteered to sleep in the tent overnight. Since he is a 23 year old strong(he lifts lots of weights and things)man, we knew we would be safe overnight. Perfect, as you might recall, is totally worthless in the dog barking/warning category.



Strangely, 3 year old Nora decided she was also camping with the boys, and out the front door went her little pink slumber bag right along with official headlamp wearing young men! What a sight! Right before sleep the group had to have a 'campfire' so I snuck out to take a picture of the circle, all without any forest fires being started!!




Of course most things I experience lead me into my usual pondering mode and then scribblings follow along shortly thereafter. This is no exception.

I am well blessed as a woman of God. I have gone through physical Labor bearing 5 children , adopting 3 more over the last 35 years. I have Labored as a Pastor's Wife, Homemaker, Mother, Teacher, After School Provider, Daycare Operator, Bank Teller, Bursar, Waitress, Tupperware Dealer, Companion to the Elderly, and other odd jobs throughout my adult life.
I Labor over relationships constantly, trying to communicate how important people are to me in my world. I am a believer in Labor.
But today, Labor Day 2008, my greatest encouragement does not come from the fact that starting tomorrow I will once again be Laboring at school for another school year.

No, my greatest relief comes from a verse in God's Word in the book of Matthew in chapter 11. It reads: " Come to Me all you who Labor and are heavy laden and I will give you REST. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.I live for that promise, I am bolstered by those words from Jesus Himself and for that reason alone I can enjoy Labor Day, knowing Rest for my weary soul is indeed attainable.