Thanksgiving Trees

 I work in a private school and in my afterschool class of 3rd and 4th graders I began a project with the kids. They each had to make a tree, of their own design and choosing , and then we would add leaves every day they came to after school. Different schedules exist, so the trees would be having varying amounts of leaves by Thanksgiving. On each leaf they would need to write something they were thankful for.

The task was well received and not much grumbling occurred, which was a good sign for any teacher throwing out a creative idea! There are about 25 kids total, and I placed the trees as a Bulletin Board, so the children took my project seriously. Some painted a big, fat brown trunk of an obvious hardwood tree, and then there was a random palm tree from my resident creative girl. She intended to place coconuts, rather than leaves, all without asking or commenting. She also added a flamingo and a blue sky :-) ! I got a couple of pine trees, "no, you may NOT decorate them for Christmas yet!" and several thin, elegant types. All in all, I was pleased with the first step. They were due November 1st and ready for me without exception.

The leaf making had directions , of course, since to know me is to know I come with instructions. They had to be written on neatly and in ink,  and given some thoughtful, thankful moments before producing a leaf.(or coconut ). I told them the end result should resemble a real tree, so that eliminated the purple leaf, it was done again in a more tree like shade of orange.

My first batch of leaves were interesting , to say the least, and believe me, it was difficult rejecting a leaf that just said BOOK. "You are thankful for BOOK?!?" I exclaimed, whereas little person of boy gender said, " well, I read one in class ".  But reject it I did, and back came a leaf entitled LIFE. "I think you might have missed the part about specific thankfulness," said I. "I love LIFE ," said he. The tree leaf was accepted.

Each day the kids eagerly ran into the classroom, and before I could say a word, scissors were cutting, and little minds were working. It was exciting seeing how they thought and thought and came up with MOM. One girl asked me, "Mrs. Ribeiro, can I just make a bunch of leaves and add the names of all my cousins and second cousins?" :-) [insert her grinning face]
"No." I've been through a few lazy kids in my day.

Occasionally I was touched by very sincere leaf-like the one that said "thank you my cousin doesn't have cancer anymore".  But that was offset quickly by the little man who insisted he really was thankful for lacrosse, hockey, football, baseball,golf and rugby. ..and could he add another sport tomorrow? I limited sports thankful leaves to 2 !

There were several Mom leaves and only one Dad represented in thankfulness ~ is this an indication of mom being more nurturing or mad if her name wasn't there when she saw the tree? I wondered.... I was also interested in how many leaves said God and Jesus (always separately), and in our very exclusive school, happy to read 'thankful for my education'.

On the last day of school, one young girl, who had spent days on an intricate tree that far outshone any other tree in my forest,  asked me if she could be more thankful and write lots more leaves? I love all of my children so much, and yet at that moment she was my very favorite! It also didn't hurt that one of her leaves said, Mrs. Ribeiro  :-)

Imagine asking that of God when we celebrate Thanksgiving Day this year?
"Oh God, Maker ad Giver of all that sustains me, can I sit awhile and be more thankful, taking more time for gratitude,  thanking You for all Your gifts to me, and then consume that turkey and excess of food You have so kindly provided for me?" 

By the end of the month , the kids were unable to stop thinking of things they were thankful for!!
Do you think we can develop our attitudes of gratitude as easily as covering a tree with leaves?

Life. Food. Clothing. Children. Grandchildren. Paul.Allison. Isabel. Ava. Luke. Steve.Becca. Aidan. Evelyn. Lucy. Joel. Margie. Eliot. Simon. Jesse. Nora. Bianca. Rachel. Aric. Adam. Julie.       Ethan.Thomas. Joshua. Andrew.  Salvation. God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. Flowers. Sunsets. Home. Work.  Friends. Health. Church. Education. Books :-) .Music. Colors. Fragrances. Sounds.  Memories. Laughter. Seashore. Oceans. Mountains. Rivers. Forests. Computers. Sunny my Suburu.
Apryl my Cat. Glasses. Doctors. Medicines. Coffee. Chocolate. Steak. Janet. Tim. Paula. Cyndi. Brian. Nancy. Mom. Dad. Nephews. Nieces. Aunts. Uncles........love, joy, peace, kindness,........

My forest is full of foliage.

I am looking outside on a beautifully crispy, cool autumn day, feeling a tiny chill . I turned the temperature to 65* on the house thermostat schedule, because normally it is 62* when I am not home. 65* seemed warm when I first rolled out of that downy comforter covered bed, after a solid night of sleep, but inactivity is causing my body to want warmth instead of exercize.

snow, fall leaves...chilly

 It is pretty much like that in all of life, isn't it? I would much rather do the easy thing, turn the heat up, rather than the more profitable thing - exercise? The result is warmth either way, one is good for me, one is not as good, but not bad.

Makes me wonder about life lessons that I have endorsed all of my life, things we teach our kids, and then discover later that perhaps we assumed what we were taught was Truth rather than opinion.

I think all of my rambling thoughts actually began this morning as I was thinking about a party I had last night with a few friends. It appeared successful ~ women stayed late, ate the food, drank the wine, interspersed laughter and solemnity in equal amounts. The recipe for success was there, so in my analytical mind my assumption was it was good. Then I wondered if my mind was a reliable source, for in the mind we have two sides sparring constantly. The side of Truth and the side of opinion.

 Earlier today, as I conversed with God, my ultimate Truth,( for He is Truth and He always speaks the Truth) I realized the dilemma quite plainly. I needed friends to help me sort it all out. Help me balance the good feelings and the bad feelings and move outside of my own mind, which tends to declare everything Black or White, rarely allowing shades of gray. Something can be good without being Great or Horrible, those two opposing opinions vying for front row seats in my brain.

I was brought up to believe many things, some of which were Truth, like Who God Is. Some things I was taught are just opinion , like the man earns the wage and the woman cares for the home. Or this one: Thanksgiving dinner can only be served after the men return from deer hunting! ;-) Isn't that a Great opinion?!? Love that one!

Steve works in the kitchen and is a deer hunter-let's ask him... :-)

 Here is a Truth- God loves His children to worship Him in spirit and in truth, and attending church is one way to obey Him. It seems to be the best way for His blessing, His glory and the American cultural scenario to be upheld. However, I also am sure, in my humble opinion, that today, across the world and in other cultures and circumstances, God's people are able to glorify Him and be blessed outside of the church.

Maybe that brings me full circle to what I was thinking as I got up and flipped my house temperature up to 70*, rather than jogging out the door, to warm my body. I am still warm, but as with church attendance, my soul is more blessed, and my body more healthy, if I would just GO.

Go!

Heritage Presbyterian Church- GO!

Simply snooping

This morning I decided to snoop amongst the bloggers along the Blogging Trail. It was interesting , to say the least, somewhat more boring than I'd imagined and noteworthy. The things I noted were obviously not original thoughts on my part, but I am pondering these , nonetheless.

First, many blogs are outdated. There were many written in 2010 and no updated developments. I think there might be a tendency to create a great Blog and over time, the enthusiasm gives way to the daily.

Secondly, the Blogs I saw were often about health issues or young mother issues. As people go through health crises I think they need an outlet of caring and positive reinforcement, so oftentimes this is an acceptable way to receive it. Young families, on the other hand, think their child is the most adorable , precious commodity available on the market, so are overly enthusiastic in sharing their cuteness. As a personal aside note~ all kids are adorable, don't you think?

Examples from my world :

See what I am talking about? I have 11 grandchildren, 7 children, 5 spouses of the 5 children who are married, and I consider my kids. Of course they are adorable, but honestly...it would be simply B-O-R-I-N-G if all I Blogged about was them.

Tonight when I return from work, that clearly important time gobbler of my world, I intend to Blog more deep thoughts. Deep Thoughts are overrated, it may be a shallow scribbling continuing...but for sure it will be a surprise. Don't you love surprises?  :-)

The Science Lesson

The skinny on my cancer

Looks like an innocent mole, doesn't it? Nope. It's the remains of a  bad guy mole, aka,  basal cell carcinoma. I'd noticed , many too many months ago, a brownish mole growing under my glasses and taking on a shape of it's own.
Not the usual circular, nor elevated kind, just silly looking.
I decided to finally ask my family doctor if it should be checked and she referred me to a dermatologist, who, as it turns out and why am I surprised? is the best in the Delaware area for Mohs Procedure.

Naturally I am not mentioning this because it is an interesting fact, but because it is another detailed way God takes care of me before I even know I need Him to. Proof, so to speak, of my personal relationship with Him.

Went into my appointment rather nervously because I do not care for doctors in general. To me they are like insurance salesmen , car dealers,  termite destroyers, or anyone else whose job I know little of and am skeptical about.

"Looks suspicious", says the cutter. "I'll just take a sample and send it out and we'll see." I heard C-A-N-C-E-R, so began preparing mentally.

When the younger than my youngest son 'medical assistant' told me she would be numbing my face, all I wondered was how many times she had to poke to make me not feel the excruciating pain of a knife removing tissue that belonged on my temple? I took a deep breath and waited.

Since I was beyond nervous at this point, I had enough sense to say to God, "please remember what my friends are praying for because I am going to die here." That, my friends, is panic prayer, as opposed to calm and deliberate prayer.

The waiting began. It took two weeks to hear what I already suspected-my  silly looking mole was definitely not a friend, but a rearrangement of my healthy cells into enemy cells.

Another two weeks, two days off work scheduled for the procedures, and back I went, less nervous and more surrounded by love.

God's love came in various sizes and shapes~ friend Judy came for an overnight. Who but Judy makes a cancer surgery into a reason for a sleep-over? Good grief she even brought chocolates~ daughter Margie came to drive me there and sit with me, bringing dinner and a smile~ several friends were praying~ some gal pals texted me that morning~ mt sisters emailed me ~and some fellow fanatics wrote on my Wall! Facebook fiend that I am, I checked before surgery ;-) . You knew I would .

The doctor entered, scraped off the cancer cells, making a medium -sized hole in the side of my face. I asked what size as he was bandaging me up. :-)

Then he tells me the best news- no more scraping! This was kindly interpreted for me as a good piece of information-he got all the cancer cells the first time. Relief. "oh, and come back tomorrow for suturing. It will be a bit more uncomfortable and may leave bruising," I was informed.

Tuesday afternoon I was ready. I knew my faithful friends and family were praying for me and for God's best for me, but my problem was more that I already knew that could include pain. As the doctor worked, I had been grounded (boy is that a weird feeling, since he described it as like a lightning rod for a house...and have I mentioned my distaste for lightning? ).

Great News ! Day two suturing took under an hour and I was not electrocuted, and the pain was tolerable, and I was able to bring to mind my praying friends when I started to freak.  Who me? Freak?

The glasses were a necessity because of the padding ! but aren't I stylish??

The Fab Five arrived with Chinese take out. These girlfriends were better than the antibiotics to ward off infection, the pain killers to stop the pain. They warded off fear and foolish thoughts. They fought the poison of self pity with friendship and fun! I love  these friends with whom I have only been connected for under  8 years .

Carolyn, Darlinda, Pam, Jean and me (with the attractive bandage)

Tonight I was sitting here and writing this blog when a knock came at my door. There stood my newest son-in-law Adam, and a plate of delicious dinner quite unexpectedly delivered, cooked by my daughter Julie.  As delicious as that meal was, the gift of sitting and talking to me with my grandson was equally as wonderful.

Son Andy was sound asleep this morning when I decided it was time for another pain killer. Imagine his surprise as the cell phone rang next to his ear, mom from the home land line saying she needed him- now. The pain killers were a bit potent for this weakling patient, and I thought of the irony of living through the surgery and dying from the pain relief. Guess I won't be taking a narcotic next time.

Where will I end up with this blog? I wonder that too. I guess I am not afraid of the word cancer anymore.

I started out on this journey into adulthood afraid of certain things. The list was way too long and cumbersome, so my very personal friend and Father in heaven has been helping me whittle down that list of fears, as I build up my faith and confidence in Him.

I feared never getting married and having children. Really? Yes, really.
God gave me a beautiful man for 31 years to call husband, then he allowed me to release that man and call HIM my husband.

    

I feared losing my children. Daniel Mark came to us for 9 short months and was gone.

     Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I will return.The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. [Job 1:21]

I feared divorce. I was a Christian and was sure divorce was impossible.   
  May 29, 1971 - June 13, 2002 are the dates of my marriage.

I feared so many other things, the list too long to share. I continue to battle the war with fear as a woman of God who loves Him, trusts Him and has salvation from Him. But I fear.  One of my head truths is this: Fear is NOT faith.

      My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in   weakness.  [ 2 Cor. 12:9]

Have you figured out yet which fear was next on my list?

Well, there's the skinny on my cancer.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3;22-23

Just watching

Parenting for this mother of seven has been a never ending, always working, ever busy job description. It used to be so enjoyable interacting, teaching, and helping them, while they developed through their own life experiences, growing into who they would become as adults.   My job was officially accepted and expected when the seven were still in schools ~ whether in elementary grades, high school, home schooled or college. Parental blame is cast as part of the process, whether for misbehavior or misdeeds, and praise is usually accepted, whether earned or deserved or just as a by product of the job.

I loved summers best because the kids were all with me and around me, playing in the yard, tromping in and out (and in and out),(and in and out) of the house, helping or fighting with each other, depending on the day. Bedtimes were observed, nap times were never let go of, (after all, moms need a few sane moments to regroup and rest!) and beds were always made. I was big on that one :-) and still cringe when I enter a child's home and find the door closed, meaning only one thing: Messy Bed.

For the ones who went to school in September, my favorite time of day was when the bus pulled up to the driveway after a long day of being away from each other. I loved parenting, I loved my kids(still do) and all of the things that went with it.

We home schooled several in different years, at different ages, using different methods albeit always interesting, which some of my current friends have no knowledge of.Sometimes it can irk me to be in a group and have people ask counsel from a younger mom who has a few years of teaching under her belt, totally disregarding me in the discussion.

Pride looms it's ugly head and I want to say, "Hey, I did that and my kids all are reasonably intelligent!"  Clarification: they are all extremely brilliant, earned scholarships to colleges and accolades from many, but how do I insert THAT in a casual conversation with young mothers? Anyhow, lest I digress into an entire Blog about schooling choices or young mothers, let me continue.

The assumption then, is that a mom would be extremely happy and content when her children, having been her responsibility for so many years, were able to make their own choices and decisions and actually leave the family nest, so to speak. In my case, firstborn son Paul was 15 years old when baby Andrew was adopted, so the spread of children was always wider than the average household. Thus it is, after 38 years of active , kids- in -the- home- parenting, I find myself in a new and different place.

My youngest two sons both chose to leave ,( granted they were older than the others were) this summer. Here am I, alone in a house once filled with laughter and fighting and crying and cooking and chaos. Alone.

I am not doing that well. Precisely, I am lost . The little fledgelings have flown and the nest is empty. I figure it must be a fairly significant event if there is a syndrome named for it The Empty Nest Syndrome. Knowing that something is common does not necessarily make the going through it that much easier.

In fact, I wanted the nest to be empty. I was weary of the dishes in the sink, the beds unmade( yeah, that rule held up until about age 18...), the grass long enough to be mowed and the mowers not interested, the
special foods missing in action, etc. I was anxious for the next phase of maternal development, having passed the 'do it as a single parent ' phase reasonably well!

In the meantime, the grown children are now growing adults, making their own decisions and figuring life out in their own ways. No longer are mom's ways best, no more are they looking to me for advice or answers. Oftentimes I am the last to know of some event that just a few short years ago I would have been orchestrating! Second fiddle was a spot I played in high school, not where I'd be sitting as a mom.

What am I supposed to do now? I just spent 38 years of my 61 years being a parent. I absolutely loved every experience and moment of it, even when there were some tears and heart breaks along the way. My complaining times were the run of the mill mom is going crazy type, not the oh my gosh I cannot do these kids a minute longer kind.

Recently as I prayed for one of my children, earnestly pleading for God's help in their life, it occurred to me that praying and watching was my new job description. Formerly it had been praying and acting, now it was watching and waiting. I have gone from an active role to a passive role. What a shock to  this task oriented , type A mother! Good grief, this is really tough! I suppose it is like going from writing a book to reading one.

Having seven children, and now 5 with spouses, gives me a variety unlike most others to my prayer life. Some days I am asking God for patience , other days finds me wishing He would make the kids be less patient and more decisive! Some need a home to buy, others need wisdom for my grandchild's schooling dilemma. Sometimes I feel ignored, other days I feel inundated by requests for babysitting or visits to their homes. Since eternity is never more than a thought away for me, I am often pouring out my heart to God asking for His mercy, His grace, His salvation, His protection, His goodness in their lives. This, I might add, even when they are not choosing to even glance at eternity.



I had been sleeping on the top floor, away from the previously noisy first floor level, and awoke to a CRASH! The thunderstorm was raging and since the lightning really felt as if it were coming through the ceiling, I decided to trust God from the lower level. :-) Pacing around in the dark, I had to admit that the days of terror during a storm were behind me and they had been replaced by a deep seated knowledge that everything would be fine, in time. The storm would pass, the house would most likely stand upright during it, the lighting would not, in fact, find me crouched on the couch and zap me into heaven, and I would indeed fall asleep again.

Perspective returned within my brain once again. I know this adjusting to the kids being adults is a matter of weathering the storm. I am not sure if this storm's duration will be long or short, smooth or rough, and whether my heart will heal with the help of friends, experienced travelers, or alone with God.

This much I know: God gave me the gift of children for a time, and that gift looks differently than the one wrapped so prettily with their smiles, giggles and trust.

The gift is now unwrapped. I am cleaning up the house, putting the wrapping paper away, throwing out the ripped pieces and storing the reusable things. Memories are surfacing of sayings and silliness and even stupidity, but also as I clean the clutter, I am loving the feeling of no regrets,, no wish I had done things differently, no lost opportunities. I gave it my best, my best was all I could give , along with my unending love, weaknesses revealed, forgiveness granted, and prayers continuing.

I am now just watching. Time for me to let go and let God.

Alone in Paradise

Target Hat @ $ 12.00 [too windy for my head]

 Crocs, bright pink, so as not to get lost on the Beach.

Swimsuit, new for the occasion.

straight up- Palm trees in blue skies-always

understatement

Nail Polish, feels rich on white sand

wedding dress, hard to zip the back up, asked the maid for help

got in the water twice

dinner wear

favorite spot-under a Palm tree , with a book

bus adventure into Nassau, alone, Straw Market

apparently there are people here

same sun setting, same God watching

the Lighthouse stands alone

Breezes on the Caribbean are more impressive swaying Palms rather than Maples

biggest regret: no room for the $5.00 conch shell