musings of the day

I knew today would be weird, because I woke up remembering my dreams, and they were strange. Usually I don't remember what the dream was, but this morning it stayed in my groggy mind several minutes longer than usual. It's gone now, so I can't even comment on its content, and significance when wide awake.



My head is pounding and my coffee did not do the trick of making me appear more alert than I truly am.



I had planned on a lovely pre-going-to-work day with my twin grandchildren(one of the two pairs I am blessed to call mine), perhaps cooking or just Being. The anticipation mounted at the thought of just seeing them, hugging them as they ran past me looking for familiar toys and objects to throw, er, I mean, touch. I put a Crockpot of beef on so my daughter and I could enjoy a late lunch or perhaps she could take home a pot of stew to her always hungry husband. Then I checked email, of course, to once again be disappointed that the majority of people I write to had already said whatever it was they needed to say, and were silent at the moment, leaving my Inbox rather boring.



Maybe I should call and make sure daughter who lives 1/2 hour away was knowing she could also come over and we could have a 'gathering' and enjoy the little ones together? Well, I don't want to be pushy. She has 3 precious ones not in school and if we time things right , a solid window of 2 hours is there sandwiched between bright yellow school buses. I wish daughter who lives one mile away could come, but her schedule is so full I barely see her except Sunday mornings. Then I gather her son in my eagerly awaiting arms as she leaves him with Grammy so she can have a free sitter for the day and I can have free hugs and photo ops. I think it a fair trade-off, considering he now knows me and smiles when he sees me from afar. People would pay good money for that, don't you think?



The phone rang and changed the day. It turns out, daughter one had visited daughter two the previous day and daughter 3 had visited daughter 2 the day before that. Everyone was visited out, except Grammy/mom/me. "We'll make it one day next week" I was told, no problem.

No hugs, no photo sessions of cuteness growing older, no laughter and fun before work, no lunch together and certainly no pot of stew for dinner. I am weary of making pots of anything with none to share it with.



Now what shall I do? I guess I'll look at my birds out the window and try to snap one with my not quite fast enough shutter finger. I think ibuprofen is in order, tissues and perhaps my computer screen. It isn't great at interacting, but hasn't yet failed to amuse me. The fool cat is staring at me again, so maybe I should change her litter box for amusement. The darned dog is wrapped around her post, scaring away all of the pretty birds, leaving the gray ones there feeding, so I'll deal with that. I hear the laundry spinning, which means 10 minutes can be used very wisely by folding laundry. Hmmmm, almost time for work.



Turns out, I didn't need to have children and grandchildren fill my day, amusing me when I felt there was no point in this late- to- work time slot. I'll be here whenever the kids think they want to see me, or eat a bite of lunch with me, or have me watch a child or two or five, or meet up and shop till we drop for sales. Anyway, if I want to SEE a child, I have a 23 year old asleep in his bedroom(I think) , and the baby son [ age 19 ] is coming home tonight after school and work, so I can always snap a photo of him-and dodge for cover :-)!



I need coffee. I knew today would be weird.